[josh1788smom]

My son is 18 in twelve days (yeah!!!!!). I have written my letter to him. It is 5 pages long - hope I don't put him to sleep. I mention his birth, his father and I back then - little about his father now, little about my life since, my husband, our children, and that I have enclosed pictures so he can put faces to names and that I hope he is interested in slowly getting to know each other. I put in some pictures. I think some cute ones of my kids - a couple different of each kid. I also put in a picture of his bio-dad, but it was his senior picture, so it's a little dated. There is one of me and my daughter, a picture from my brother's wedding which includes my husband, kids, and brothers and their wives. I have a picture of me and my son (the one I am sending the letter to) when he was a new baby in the hospital. Should I put in a family picture? I didn't know if it would make disconnected from us to see a family picture of my husband, kids, and myself. The others are mostly snapshots.

Also - I was thinking of having someone deliver the letter to him personally. Not anyone in the triad - I just want to make sure he gets it, and I have had a couple conversations with adad lately (my dad's relative) and I am not sure he'd pony up. Thoughts?

Thanks

[lauralee3]

I'd keep it light with the pictures of your kids...one or two only. It might make your son feel bad to see too many happy pictures of your children (at first anyway).

But the letter sounds terrific....lots of details to questions I'm sure he's had his whole life. How thoughtful of you.

Good luck!

[InionGrinn]

If he is happy to have contact he will probably like to have pictures- esp. the older ones of you and his birthfather - I know when I saw pics of my birthmom a few months ago they were very recent, and I wanted to see what she looked like at the time of my adoption as well.

I agree not to load up on the pics of your other children but one or two should be fine.

I don't have any good advice on delivery of the letter - maybe some others can ring in on whether personal delivery is a good way to go, or certified/registered mail- but for some reason I have a gut feeling personal delivery may not be the best way to go. Something similar happened to my brother at his college dorm when he was 18 and it pushed him away from contact for a while, rather than forward.

[mom of 2]

Pictures are great ...i agree with only a few of the other kids at first he might feel a little left out ...GOOD LUCK