[momof2girls]

In 1999 I adopted my husbands 2 little girls. A year later he received papers from his 1st wife asking to give consent of his oldest daughter who was at the time 14 to be adopted by her step dad. My husband had not seen or talked to his daughter in 7 years at that time. They were in the military and never stationed anywhere close to us. His calls were never returned and he finally just quit calling. He regrets that now. He felt that consenting to the adoption was the best thing to do seeing the situation and it helped that he knew his ex-wife was a wonderful mother and only wanted the best for her as did he. Last May he received senior pictures and a graduation announcement, I have never seen my husband so happy. They have been communicating via email and instant messaging as have my 2 girls (her half sisters). Things are going great but I am so scared someone is going to get hurt. Is there anything we can do to help this transition? I can't imagine what this young lady is thinking or what she expects. Any advice from adoptive children would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[aura]

The only advice I can give you is this...if I did my math right his daughter is over the age of 18 right? I know for me honestly is a big thing, and I would advise your husband to be honest with her, just as you said, he did what he felt was best for her at the time. It does sound like everyone is getting to know each other and forging their own relationships, all you can really do is let it all take it's course hon. I honestly believe that everything happens for a reason and maybe now is the time for your husband and his daughter to have a relationship, better now than never. I understand you are afraid of someone getting hurt, my hubby was afraid of me or my daughter getting hurt when I located my bmom. How old are your daughters? I would just explain to them what is going on and if they are old enough, let them decide for themselves what they want from their half sister. I know when I located my bmom I wasn't looking for a second mom, I wanted answers to my questions and hoped that a friendship would develop. Just be honest with everyone and things will work out as they are ment to be hon. I hope this helped a little. Keep us posted as to what happens and feel welcome to share more of your story if you would like!

[momof2girls]

Thank you so much for the reply. My girls are 15 and 12 and they are aware of the whole situation. I actually got an IM from my husband’s bdaughter yesterday and she is worried about hurting her family I think. My husband does not want to try to replace her dad he is happy to have anything kind of relationship with her. I think it is going to take more time then I thought it would initially but that’s ok. I also believe everything happens for a reason and with Gods help we all will be fine.