[kbq]

Folks -

Boy - a story of ups and downs!

With some help from some angels here, along with an outside service (Jan Bowyer), locating the a-parents and my son proved to be straight-forward and quick. I was all ready to write some nice letters, when I was pre-empted...

The birth mom went ahead and called the a-parents.

Well, we were lucky so far: they were very nice and receptive, and volunteered to notify our son. Since the b-mom had called, I also made a call, apologizing for the lack of a letter, etc. - and also had a nice conversation.

The calls by the b-mom didn't stop there, however. She is winding herself up very, very tightly and seems near ready to burst. I don't think she's been very happy with her life, and seems to be counting on some sort of wondrous reunion to make all right with her world. To that end, she made at least several additional calls that I'm aware of - and may well have placed more.

We've parted ways for at least now, after she was most unhappy with my and my wife's advice to slow down and take it easier. I've written the a-parents a letter, indicating that I'm going to quietly stand to the side and remain available should my son desire to initiate contact.

Anyone have any good ideas on how to defuse this at least a bit? Any way to purge or drain some of the emotional load being dumped?

Advice welcomed!!!


Kevin (the worried b-dad)

[geogdeb]

Kevin,

You seem to handling things just right. Even if the bmom isn't doing the right thing and your son ends up not wanting a relationship with her, he may still want one with you. I have heard of the happening a lot through people on these forums. Just make yourself available and then hang on!!! It's a rough ride, but lots of ups as well as downs. Post here if you get discouraged.

Good Luck,

Deb

[aura]

I agree with Deb, you are doing what you need to do here. I would let them know in the letter that you don't agree with what the bmom is doing and that you are including your contact information so that when everyone is ready you can be contacted. Keep us posted on what happens and welcome to the forum!!

[sborgstrom]

Please keep us posted!!! Good luck to you.

Sandy
Search Angel

[hello&goodbye]

You are doing what is best for all concerned. I believe your patience will pay off one day. I wish you luck on your journey.

[kbq]

Even after the b-mom wigged him out a bit... He did call, and we had a pleasant hour's conversation, filling each other in a bit on our lives.

He knows I don't intend to intrude, nor do I feel that I deserve some place in his life.

He knows how to find me should he want more info/contact/whatever, and I'm happy with that. He's had a good upbringing, and a good life. That's enough.


Kevin

[sborgstrom]

That is great news!! Makes me very happy for you!!

Sandy
Search Angel