[ssouthernbelle06]

After what seems to me as a very long search for my birthmother, i believe i have found her. When i was told by my close friends that are helping me search, that they believed they found her i didnt even know what to say. There were so many emotions and feelings running through my body that i could not comprehend the thought. I would really like to write a letter to her, but i have no idea where to even start. I do not know what to say, i dont know anything at all, i am so confused and i am very scared of being rejected. I am looking for suggestions on what to say and what to do in my first contact letter. Any suggestions will be grately appreciated. I am literally at a loss for words.

[geogdeb]

Hi Ssouthernbelle06,

I understand how you feel. I just finished writing a second letter to my son, and it was so hard just to get started on both of them. So far he has not contacted me.

As far as suggestions go, well the first letter should probably not contain too much emotion. You should introduce yourself by telling your bmom your birthday, the hospital you were born in and the agency or lawyer that handled your adoption. Tell her you would like to talk to her and get some information about your medical background etc. and that you are willing to accept whatever boundaries she may put on contact between you. You really don't want to overwhelm her with your first letter.

Let us know how things go!

Debbie

[Racer22]

Ssouthernbelle06,
The only thing I could possibly is say is to keep it simple and keep it honest. Let your bmom who you are and that you just want to get to know who she is. That you want to maybe be a friend. This all I can suggest to you as I am in search for my Bmom also. Keep posting and you will get lots of good advice here. Best of luck. Jed

[MKW]

Ssouthernbelle06,

I agree with the post above. You do need to give her information about yourself, your birth information, so she can indeed confirm that it's really you.
But after that - you just have to be yourself. Tell her about your life growing up, your adoptive family if that has been good, what you love, what your life is like today. Tell her how often you have thought of her.
And also - leave her options wide open. Tell her how much contact you think you would be comfortable with and in what form (letters, e-mails, phone calls, in person). But let her know you are willing to respect however she wants to handle this.
The biggest thing you need to remember is that you are somewhat prepared for her, knowing about her, where she is etc. Your contact with her will come completely out of the blue and will take her off guard. She'll need some time to integrate the letter she will hold in her hand. The one word you'll hear a lot here is patience - and you'll need lots of it.
The very best to you!!!!! I so hope all works out for you.

MKW

[Tink1965]

Follow your heart......only you can do what feels best. I sat on my information for a long time just because of all the emotions that you are feeling now. When I felt that I truly was ready for anything did I make the move. It was a good time for me, only you know how or when you are ready to make that move.

Come here for advise as I see you are getting some really good input from both sides of the triad, keep asking and you will eventually find what is right for you.

Wishing you loads of luck and support.....

Tink