[aura]

Evildishrag, Isabo & MKW,

Thank you for your words of encouragement and Evildishrag, I LOVE the way you played it out and all of you are right...I need to stop being afraid and just do this. I am going to send my father in law and I am going to send pictures also. I hadn't thought of hand writing the letter, I did go back and let her know that I wanted to meet her and have a relationship with her and the letter sounds more personal now. It's nice to know that the emotions I'm having are normal and that I am not alone in this. I thank you all for that and I am going to call my father in law tonight and tell him that I am ready. All I can do is pray that this turns out good , I have so many people to help me through what ever happens that it will be okay! I will keep you all informed and thank you again!!!

Aura

[Isabo]

Aura,

I am so excited for you! And I am really glad I could help here. Are you going to show your father-in-law Evildishrag's scenario? I think it is a fantastic script for him to work from.

I can hardly wait to hear how it goes! I am sending good thoughts your way.

[aura]

Isabo,
My husband and I were laughing about her scenario, I told him his dad is a cool old man and I was giong to tease him about it. I probably will because my husbands dad is a deacon at our church as well as one of the elders and I want to make sure that he respects her privacy and doesn't "preach" to her. Please don't take that the wrong way, he is a wonderful man and he has a gift when it comes to talking to people, he also was a counselor for the Department of Family Services so he has dealt with both sides of the issue, he just clicks into counselor mode sometimes and it can be overwhelming. He is leaving town until sunday so I will probably have to wait until Monday to do this. (we will see if I have any fingernails left by then-LOL). Thank you for your good thoughts and prayers. Now I wait.....

Aura

[MKW]

And the waiting is excrutiating - but we'll all help you.

MKW

[Janet Heath]

Aura,

That is wonderful! We are all on edge waiting with you.


Hugs,
Janet

[aura]

Hey everyone.
Well, I finished my letter to my birthmom, seems like I've changed it a million times,I am including pictures of my hubby and me as well as our daughter. My sister in law, Lori, was visiting last night and in talking about my adoption she let me know she has a sister who was placed for adoption as well as a daughter. Her mom is dying and wants to try to find her daughter but due to her health has asked lori to do it, I said I would help her in any way I can, maybe it will take my mind off waiting. She loved your scenario evildishrag! She also offered to take the letter to my birthmom for me so I don't have to wait until Monday. What do you think??? I guess I have never been good at the waiting game, time to learn huh?!?
Thank you everyone...Aura

[nugget]

I think waiting really sucks............that said, you seemed very comfortable with having you FIL do it. If you are as comfortable with your SIL then ok. But think real hard before you change your plan!!
And helping others will in turn help you. Did that come out right? I think you know what I mean!!
Hang in there and thanks for keeping us up!!
Wendy

[Isabo]

Wow Aura! You are surrounded by people who are going to really understand everything you are going through. That is wonderful that you have so much support! It sounds like your sister in law is a birthmother, so she is going in with some intuitive knowledge of what your bmom may feel. You know your father in law and your sister in law best, but it sounds like they would both do great.

There are definitely arguments for doing this on the weekend, if your bmom works Monday through Friday. My son contacted me on a Monday night at 9:30 at night, when I finally got home from work and running errands. We talked for 4 hours and I got no sleep that night! I still had to go to work the next day, and I could NOT concentrate. So, giving your bmom the letter on Saturday may work out for her.

Good luck!!

[aura]

Dear Wendy and Isabo,
I am leaning toward my sister in law, the wait is driving me crazy. I started my journal today and put the letter to my b-mom in there. If any of you would like to read it please feel free to do so. Any feedback is welcome just be gentle please. It is the hardest letter I have ever had to write. I am finding that the more I share my story with family members the more adoption has touched my family. God has led this search from the begining and I have to let him take it where it is going to go. My sister in law is coming over tonight so I will talk with her again and make my decision then. Let me know what you think of my letter, sorry if the spelling is goofy, that would be nerves.
Thank again, Aura

[nugget]

Gentle?
Hun that letter looks perfect to me! I'm an adoptee too though so I do hope a first mom will let you know.
And not that it matters but I was born June 72 also!!!
I am so excited and nervous with/for you.
Keep hanging in there!
Hugs
Wendy

[MKW]

Aura, I'm sure your letter is absolutely wonderful. You sound so kind and so concerned for your b-mom. I don't think there's any way you could say anything hurtful.
You really are going to have people around you who understand what all your emotions are - that is so wonderful.
If you feel comfortable with your SIL delivering that letter, go for it. Just keep in mind, you'll probably have to do some more waiting - YUK! Hang in there - we'll wait with you.

MKW

[aura]

Okay everyone, this is it, I made up my mind. My sister in law, Lori, is taking the letter to who I hope is my birthmom tommorow. I need to get this done so I sent the letter, poem and pictures with her so I can't change my mind. It's so wierd but when I started this all I wanted was medical info but as time goes on and now that I have my non-id info I want to meet her. My mom and dad will always be my parents and they are 100% behind me so I don't know why it matters so much that she want to meet but it does. I am afraid she will be angry or not want to meet me but I guess I have to give that to God and hope for the best. All I know is this has changed me more than anything in my life has, more than marraige, childbirth and more than almost losing my husband to a heart attack and bypass surgery when our daughter was a month old. I never thought that after all that I would experience anything like this but here goes... Now the real wait begins. I will fill you all in as soon as I know something. Lori said she would call me when she has delivered the letter. Keep me in your prayers and thank you all for your help... Scared but hopeful
Aura

[MKW]

We're walking right with you Aura. God love your SIL for taking the letter - but then, she understands full well where your heart is. Hang in there - can't wait to hear something!!!

MK

[hopeful0712]

Aura,

This whole thread has made me laugh and cry! I'm a bmom and I read your letter and I would love to have a letter handed to me like that from my child! I think it is truly wonderful that you are so concerned with not intruding or hurting her. Wouldn't it be great if she has wanted to seek you but has felt the exact same way as you. I am so happy you have decided to GO FOR IT! You have an awesome family behind you and I truly believe the good lord won't let you down! Keep the faith and pleeeeeeeeese let us know ASAP! You're in my thoughts and prayers.

God bless,
Robin

P.S. I think pictures are GREAT. God knows I would love to see what my kids are like now! Just thinking about all you are going through....(heavy sigh)

[evildishrag]

I really hope all goes well!!!! I'll be sending happy vibes your way