[kperoc]

Teach me to go to the therapist on a weeknight!

I was adopted at the age of 7, separated from at least one brother in 1971. I started searching in earnest last week. God bless you wonderful folks.

When I came home tonight, my hubby hugged me and said are you ok? I have to tell you something! I am thinking something is wrong. Apparently My brother's wife got the letter, called my brother, (who is on a business trip) who immediately called me. My hubby talked to him for about 20 minutes. Then asked for me to call when I got home.

Wow wow wow! He emailed and sent me a picture of his family. He looks so much like me! We have the same nose. We spoke at length for about an hour and half, until his cell phone battery gave out.

Turns out he has been searching for me since 1978, off and on. He even put a consent form at the agency I was adopted.

I am so relieved. He wants to meet soon, being in another state, may take a while.

I am so happy, he validated a lot of memories that I have. I want someone to pinch me now, surely I'm dreaming.

I am so thankful.

Sure, now to calm down and get some sleep.

[m26d15]

congrats!!!!!

such a wonderful moment, congrats and enjoy this time, its an amazing thing!

take care, m26

[TOWANDA]

You must be on cloud nine.
I wis you a happy reunion.

Cat

[kperoc]

Thank you for the well wishes. I am looking forward to more communication and a future meeting.

[kperoc]

Due to a truly wonderful husband. We went out to visit my brother and his family this past weekend. It was a tremendous roller coaster ride, ups, downs, happy, sad and all in between. I cannot believe how much we both cried. 35 years have separated us, and to see him in person was so gratifying. We look a lot a like, and that is very comforting. We have some similar mannerisms, that too is very cool to me.

We spent a lot of time catching each other up on our histories, and I was fortunate to look at photos of me I've never seen. He was gracious enough to let me copy and take them with me. He even had a small doll that my grandmother saved for me. Although I did not remember the doll, I am comforted by that very sweet gesture. I am relieved that he is happy, and has a nice close family. I am sure we will be close in spirit even though we live far from each other.

Although I was so fortunate to have been adopted by a loving family, it was comforting to see the documentation of my birth family's attempts to find me. But all were to no avail with the closed records. My adoptive parents and siblings have been very supportive during this process. My Mom (adopted) but she is my Mom to me, has been an absolute angel, talking to me at length and being there for me.

There was one thing that I was very upset with during this reunion with my brother. I knew in our talks and emails that he is in a relationship with our bio father, and I did state clearly before I came out that I did not wish to contact the bio father. I was not ready. Circumstances around our separation stemmed from this person. The location of our bio mother are unknown. I have no desire to locate her.

Well I did speak to my bio father via phone, and was very distressed. The voice sent me back to a very scary place. I was not looking for any admission of responsibility, but I was very angry. The feelings of being abandoned came over me all over again, I thought I had dealt with those feelings long ago. I did not lash out at him, but I sure wanted to. What good would that do? I might feel better for a second, but that's about all. I have told my brother that I do respect that he has a relationship with his Father, but I will not feel obligated to do the same. It was comforting that my brother seemed to understand. But, he is sad and would like to see that change.

I have written down my journey to help me sort through the millions of emotions that are flowing right now. I am also re-starting seeing my therapist. Today, only a day after returning from the trip, I am kind of overwhelmed, feeling drained and depressed. Is this normal? I don't understand this, I with the help of wonderful people here, found my brother, we are communicating, we have connected emotionally and want to continue to do so, why am I so sad?