[seacritter2]

I have been trying to track down a young man I found on a registry who info matches mine. (He has not updated his profile in a couple of years). A while back my sister called a number that might have been his parents number and the woman who answered the phone said she had never heard of John. Through the help of a search angel, (GOD BLESS HER), I got in contact with this young man's grandfather today, and I told a big fat lie to the grandfather, said I was trying to track down an old friend Jane, (just in case the woman who answered my sister's call was trying to protect John) and he offered her phone number Its the same number my sister called. So, Jane is John's mother, and before I knew what I was doing, I said " How is Jane and the boys?" (I know John has a brother Joe), he said "oh they're fine, John lives in *** and Joe lives in ****, both town's are an hour away from me. I can't call John's mom, she already told my sister she never heard of him, I can't find an address or phone number for John, So, I got a phone number for Joe. What do I say when I call him? I just lied to his grandfather, and I'll bet his mom was trying to protect John when she told my sister she never heard of him. So, the grandfather said he'd tell Jane I called, and what was my name, and I told another big fat lie. John IS listed on a reunion web site. I'm so afraid he didn't tell his parents he was searching, and I've opened up a can of worms.

Please, Please, any advice from anyone would be welcome. I want to hurry and call Joe before Jane finds out from her father- in- law that some non existent friend is looking for her and suspects its John's birthmother and warns Joe not to give out any info.

[seacritter2]

I tried to call Joe, and it was the wrong Joe Doe. But I definately have John's parent's number and address. My sister tells me I should I call Jane and explain that I found John's info on a website, and I am trying to get in touch with him to give him more info? That's what my gut tells me to do. My sister say's "what have you got to lose". You can't find John any other way, HE DID POST HIS INFO, so he was looking. But what if his parents don't know he was/is looking for his bmom. I don't want to be the one to tell him. Jane knows someone was looking for her son. My sister can't remember what she said to Jane when she called about why she was trying to find John.

Somebody, please, help me.

[Wind_Rider]

Well do you have Amom Jane's last name? It would be the same as Johns last name would it not?

Or use http://www.whitepages.ca/ to reverse lookup the last name.

Then find John's phone #.

Or did you already say he had no number?

Good luck Are you the Bmom? How old is John?

[seacritter2]

Hi Wind Rider

Thank you for the suggestion, I have already tried whitepages.com. I also have a wonderful search angel helping me and she can't find any current contact information for John either.

I am the birth mother, and John is 26.

Thank you for the good wishes, best wishes to you as well.

Sandy

[RiverGal]

Oh, honey ~ how intense is this!!! *Take a deep breath* This is quite a bit of information, and the very thing that you have been waiting for.

I'm sure granddad has told Jane enough to get her worried, so she will most likely be anticipating your call. Chances are, her guard will be up. Wouldn't John have the last name as the father-in-law? If you have his first and last name, I might have an idea.

Do you have the Folio, Entertainment Weekly, or any other freebie weekly newspaper that the younger crowd picks up to see what's going on over the weekend? If so, maybe you could publish something in the personal's section...my kids all read them every week. If he doesn't see it, perhaps someone will who knows him. You could say something like, "Seeking John Doe ~ a voice from your past...yada, yada..." They give you a free "mailbox" to get any replies. Leave it vague, just enough info to get his attention without any real disclosure as to who you are.

I wouldn't suggest this if he had not already posted for information, but obviously, he is looking. And you may be right...his family may not know.

It's just a thought.

I am so excited for you! You deserve this, my friend. Your search has been long, and I hope you get the answers you need. How wonderful that he is looking for you, too. If I can do anything to help, you know where I am.

~Deb

[seacritter2]

Deb, you are so so sweet. Let me just say again, I'm SO glad you're back. ( I kid you not, I was replying to your pm when I got an email from the search angel, and ended up talking to her on the phone for a couple of hours, so I never got to finish the note to you. ) I'm so emotionally spent right now, its hard to type. What a roller coaster ride this is. I couldn't find anyone to talk to about what to do except my sister, and I let her convince me to call Jane. I said "hello, my name is Sandy B, and I am trying to get in contact with your son regarding some info he posted on a website a few years ago. I have some information that might be helpful to him" She said he didn't have a computer anymore, and was not comfortable giving me his phone number. So, I very politely and respectfully asked her to give him mine. She said "yep, will do, bye bye". In my heart, and in my gut, I feel she'll never tell John about my phone call. My search angel made me feel a little better about it, she said that his mom must have some clue he is searching due to the amount of info he posted - he had to have gotten the info from his parents. I don't know if I've made a monumental mistake or not. My search angel said we should try to keep trying to find info on John, but also on Joe as he might be more receptive to passing my info along to John. Oh and by the way Deb, I know YOU can appreciate this, according to the grandfather, John lives in Sarasota, one little hour away from me.

If I change the topic of a thread I started, is that considered hijacking?

Now that I have such a great lead, I know there is a young man out there who's info matches mine, and he is ALIVE, this fantasy I've had about one day being reunited with my son could actually become a reality, and I'm starting to freak just a bit!! (Please, folks, don't pounce on me and tell me I'm wrong or I shouldn't be doing this if I haven't come to terms with my feelings). It is so overwhelming. I've never really allowed myself to really wonder what he is like. (Too painful). And here I sit at 1:00 in the morning, I haven't eaten a thing all day, and I can't even put my thoughts together. So, I should probably stop typing now.

[littleflower]

Hi SeaCritter,
I have an idea. Have you tried the Dept of Motor Vehicles? Since you know his name and dob you should be able to get his info that way, if not they may be willing to forward a letter from you to him. Public records are such a great thing!
Be prepared though, the search is just the beginning.

[BrandyHagz]

There is a site that publishes Florida Drivers License info, but its fee based. You can search by Date of birth I believe.

Have you tried that route?

[seacritter2]

Thank you so much Brandy and Little Flower (What a great nic!). My wonderful search angel already pulled his driver's license records and it lists his old address. (Same one he posted on the registry). I am TRYING SO HARD to be prepared. That's what I so inadequately was trying to express last night in my last post on this thread. I don't have any expectations at all. I swear to you, if I could just know he is alive, I would have some peace in my heart. If I could see a photo of him, I would be overjoyed. If I actually had contact with him, I would be in "Uutopia."

Again, thank you very much for your suggestions and kind responses to my post.

Best wishes to you both.

Sandy

[RiverGal]

Originally posted by seacritter2
Now that I have such a great lead, I know there is a young man out there who's info matches mine, and he is ALIVE, this fantasy I've had about one day being reunited with my son could actually become a reality, and I'm starting to freak just a bit!! (Please, folks, don't pounce on me and tell me I'm wrong or I shouldn't be doing this if I haven't come to terms with my feelings). It is so overwhelming. I've never really allowed myself to really wonder what he is like. (Too painful). And here I sit at 1:00 in the morning, I haven't eaten a thing all day, and I can't even put my thoughts together. So, I should probably stop typing now.

Theses are my own feelings, exactly. I don't care how much preparation I have done to "come to terms with my feelings," the closer I get the more I freak out. I'm not sure most of us can actually ever get to that magical, stoic point where we are so "together" and PC. You are acting in a very normal manner.

This is just such a fantastic break for you! I know the frustration of being so close, and still feeling like that last litlle piece is just out of reach.

Funny how our searches are running a sort of parallel ~ what's up with us Florida birthmoms???

My heart is so full of joy for you!

~Deb

[seacritter2]

"Funny how our searches are running a sort of parallel ~ what's up with us Florida birthmoms???"

I hear ya, Deb. There are so many conincidences, that it's making me hear the theme from The Twilight Zone play in my head. Take you and I for instance, you're one of the first persons, if not the first, I ever posted a reply to. You're also the first person I ever PM-ed here. And here we both are, your daughter is right in your home state, and so is my possible (still have to verify more info), birth son. Also, the WONDERFUL search ANGEL (who I will be eternally grateful to), said she happened upon me after reading a post on another member's thread. This other member and I are becomming friends outside of the forums. My search angel's middle name is the same as my favorite niece's, and John's parents were married on my birthday!!!! Call me silly, but I believe things are meant to happen for a reason, and all these coincidenses are making me think God is trying to tell me HE IS THE ONE.

My heart is filled with joy for you too Deb. Is so so comforting to know that someone can TRULY understand how I feel.

[Wind_Rider]

Why not write a letter to John's old address. Why not type his name into google. Why not hire a private inverstgator for a couple days. They use medical records and dental records which are kept up to date. Why not check out his old highschool yearbook? Is he university age? Or working age?

Just thoughts i have heard here.

[seacritter2]

Thank you again Wind Rider. I did write a letter to John's old address, as well as everyone in the town he lived in with the same last name. All were returned to me either 'no forwarding address' or 'no such person at this address'. I have typed his name into google, looksmart, and search.com. Nothing. I have no clue what high school he attended, so that one's out. As far as a private investigator, I just don't have the funds for that right now.

According to his grandfather, he works for "some phone company" (Oh how I wish there was still only One!)

Again, I thank you for your wonderful suggestions.

Sandy

[Wind_Rider]

If you do and if you think it is possible to get a rapport and a helping hand why not ask the grandad? Why not ask the Amom? But certainly do it in person. If they see the actual info about him searching then it may influence one of them to help you.

What do you think?

Some phone company? How many are there down there?

Call them each up and leave messages for him at the main reception. Regarding a family matter and your number.

I don't have all the answers i wish i did.

Someone help this lady, please. It's killing me. You must be like a kid on xmas morning except to find out it is only dec 23 and have to wait an eternity.

[seacritter2]

I have thought about that, printing a hard copy of his post and sending it with a carefully worded letter to his mom. I did leave my phone number with her last night, but like I said, in my gut, I don't think she'll give it to him.

GREAT IDEA about the phone companies. There are many, if you include cellular services. I'm going to start calling them all just as soon as I finish this note.

You are such a sweetheart, and its people like you who make this world a better place!

Sincerely,

Sandy