[SWGAgirl]

Hi Everyone! Yesterday I got my first RECENT photo of my b-mom! Now that may not be earth-shattering for most people...........but it was for me. I wanted to share what this meant to me in what I wrote below:


My Thought-Form

Ever since I can remember, I have had a “thought-form” that was part of me.
It was a presence, a haze, an aura.............an image in my mind. It existed as the outline of a figure-devoid of definite features, but absolutely present.

I have always known who the thought-form was, even though I did not have a face or a name and was unable to sense its presence by conventional human senses of hearing, touch, smell, or sight. I knew she was where I came from.....the one who kept me safe and gave me life.

This thought- form had been with me forever, and visited my consciousness throughout
my life. Sometimes she would be there on a hot summer day as I walked barefoot down the sun-warmed , powdery Georgia clay of my alley. She would be there at sunset as I stood on the soft, white, sugary sands of a Florida panhandle beach, with warm tanned skin all clean after a shower. She was there when I was a teenager going through relationships with boys. Sometimes, I would imagine how she must have felt, and how scary it would have been. And I’d think that she must have really loved me to have gone through giving birth to me, and then giving me to a childless couple who had prayed fervently for the precious gift they had longed for many years.

My thought-form was in my mind during all the important events of my life... like high school graduation, college graduations, my wedding, and the births of my children. I worried about her when I had breast cancer, and hoped that she was well and happy.

Recently, my thought-form had taken on more tangible characteristics........had more definition...because I FOUND her. Now I knew the sound of her voice and how she smelled (like Pleasures perfume), and I could feel her more than ever.

But yesterday, as I was leafing through a book she had sent, relishing each page............a picture fell out. As I pored over it, I was filled with emotion and great happiness. I did not realize at that moment that the thought-form I had known all my life no longer existed now.

That realization dawned on me this morning as I lay in bed with the sunlight peeking in through my shutters. My thought-form was gone FOREVER....... but I had in its place a vibrant, creative, dear, funny, lovely, and REAL human being...........my birth mother.

Peace, Liz

[sspete]

Liz....

As a bmom your letter really touched my heart!!! I am SO glad the two of you have found one another....what a special gift!!! Your bmom is lucky to have you understand her as you do. I loved your letter, I can only imagine how it makes your bmom feel!!! I wish the two of you the best in your reunion.....May your relationship continue to grow and flourish!!

Staci

[kersey19]

What a heart warming story. I wanted to add to your post. I am a birthmom who was recently reunited with my 21 year old daughter. My life changed the minute she walked into the room. Meeting her was great, getting to know her special but developing a lasting relationship has been amazing. I had hoped for years that I would know how her life turned out -- I never dreamt I would be given the opportunity to develop a lifelong relationship with her. I wish you the best of luck in your reunion and in developing a relationship with your birthmom.

[VermontGirl]

SWGAgirl,

Thank you for sharing your heart-warming thoughts. As an adult adoptee, I completely understand that longing! I've thought of my birthmother often - not only on my birthday - but especially at important times in my life, like my semester abroad or my college graduation or when I got my first "real" job with an expense account.

Most recently, though, I thought of her on my wedding day. I was married over this past Christmas. As I saw myself in my wedding gown, I thought of her and wondered if she would like to be with me on that day.


I wish you joy and success in your reunion!

[kersey19]

I would have given anything to have been with my daughter at those major moments in her life. The great thing is that I won't have to miss her college graduation, her wedding ... her future... as long as she wants me to be a part of those moments.

My reunion is a gift -- a second chance -- to know and love the person I brought into the world 21 years ago but could not raise. I will cherish this gift forever!

[SWGAgirl]

for your kind words and well wishes. I appreciate them so much. My b-mom and I are meeting for the FIRST time (since I was born! in late April. We are both pretty excited. It will be a year since I made contact with her (April 2003), and we have taken things slowly. But we have built a very good relationship via phone calls, cards and letters etc. So we feel we have a good foundation, and can't wait to see each other face to face.

VermontGirl- I wish you the best of luck in your search for your b-mom. Staci and kersey 19- hope you build wonderful, lasting relationships with your daughters!

Liz