[MuyLaBonita]

Hi everyone!
I was recently reunited with my sister! I love her to death, but we are both hesitant about letting our mother rain on our reunion this summer. She acts like a kid and is kind of immature. I am thinking that I should meet her last because she is the one I am most nervous about. I love my sister, but I don't feel that love for my mom yet. I talk to my sister every day... is that unhealthy. And DO you think I am being rude to my mother. I tried so hard to get along with her, but she is not anything that I expected when we first talked. Help please!

[banjo]

I have a friend who talks to her mother at least twice a day - she is not adopted. She also talks to her sister each day. I talk to my my mother and sister twice a month we are also bio relatives. What's normal?

Only you can decide that. Enjoy the moment. I spoke with an HIV positive man who lives for the day, week, month - he makes the most of every moment.

Give the bmother a bit more time or just accept her as she is, don't let it ruin things. If you and your sister get on that's fantastic - BTW: I would consider my sister and I to be close - we just have busy lives.

Best of luck with the reunion.

[l-thompson]

When I reunited I reunited with my birthmother, birthfather, two full brothers and a full sister!!! Lucky gal am I

My bio sister was born in 1969 and my a/sister was also born in 1969!! Two sisters now both the same age - I am the big sis and I just love being big sis to these two wonderful women - so proud to call them both my sisters.

My a/sister lives around the corner from me and we are very close. I see her every week and we speak on the phone a couple of times a week too. My bio sister lives in Canada, I live in NewZealand but we try hard not to let this distance come between us. We email every few days and talk on the phone every few weeks - so awesome!!

For me, my relationships with both of my sisters are precious and mean the world to me. I want to grow old with them and just share in each others lives as much as possible. There is no greater bond than that between sisters.

My history and shared experiences are with my a/sister so we have heaps to talk about and lots to reminise about. The relationship I have with her is different to the one I had with my a/mother.

I have no history with my bio sister but we are writing our own history now and its exciting. The relationship I have with her is different to the one I have with my birthmother.

The relationship between sisters is different to the one you have with your parents and for me, thats the way it should be. I know there are things my sisters and I talk and laugh about that I wouldn't do with my mother(s)
You do what feels right for you. I am sure over time you may feel more at ease with your birthmother but I wouldn't worry too much about appearing rude to your birthmother.
Gosh, I am sure my a/mother thought my sister and I were rude towards her as we were growing up, giggling behind her back and rolling our eyeballs at her ....when we thought she wasn't looking!! Hey, thats what sisters do!!!

You enjoy this new friendship and all the it can offer - it surely is a special one!!

I-Thompson'

That is so awesome that you have such a good relationship with both your sisters, both bio and adopted. I love hearing those kinds of stories. It just reaffirms to be how important both relationsships are to us as adoptees. Its kinda bringing both lives together and completing the picture.

MuyLaBonita,

Work on the relationship that is most healthy to you....I often see siblings in any adoption situation as the most innocent ones in the situation. As children, decisions are made for us that effect our sibling relationships for life. We have siblings that may not be biorelated(for the good or the bad)..and we may have biosiblings we know nothing about and not had a chance to devolp relationships with. I do see that as a loss to all concerned.

When I say "innocent ones" I don't mean to imply that anyone is guilty...I just could not think of a better way to put it!!

[MuyLaBonita]

Thank you all for your posts! I am so glad that I have some advice and it is so good!
God Bless