[Tenorchick]

It was October 31, 2002 when I dropped three copies of a letter into the mailbox, each one with a different name and address printed carefully on the envelope. My A-parents had given me what little information they had about my birthmother (we knew nothing about my birthfather at the time), and after doing a little research on my own, I came up with the names of three people who may or may not be related to my birthmother. Swallowing my fear and summoning all the courage I could muster, I made three copies of a letter I had written to my birthmother years before. It was originally a creative piece that I had written and gotten published, an adopted child's letter to the birthparents she had never met, but I had decided when I first wrote it that I would send it to my birthparents if I ever got the chance. And so, I crossed my fingers and held my breath as I watched my letters disappear into the mailbox that cold Halloween morning, knowing that from that moment on, my life might never be the same.

Less than two weeks later, I received an email from my birthmother. I'm pretty sure that my heart stopped beating as I opened the email and read: "Girl, I have waited 22 years for that letter you just sent me!" I never thought it was possible to feel so many conflicting emotions at one time! I was thrilled and terrified, happy and overwhelmed all at once. As I read the rest of the email, I learned that my parents had actually been high school sweethearts in a tiny Nebraska town just a few hours north of where I grew up and went to high school. My birthmother, now living in Arizona, had four other children, ranging in age from 18 - 4 and my birthfather was married with two kids of his own, ages 7 and 4, living in Colorado. Growing up with only an adopted sister who was a year older than me, I was overwhelmed by the idea of suddenly having seven siblings (which recently became a grand total of 11 with my birthmother's recent remarriage)!

A few days after the initial email I was speaking to my birthmother on the phone for the first time. Hearing her voice for the first time was so strange, because I could have sworn that she sounded eerily familiar (I didn't realize it until someone else pointed it out to me, but our voices sound almost exactly the same). We met for the first time in early December 2002. My A-parents were there with me as I saw her for the first time. I turned around and there she was, standing there smiling at me. And as I gazed at her I realized that I was looking at my own face, into my own eyes! She forwarded my letter onto my birthfather who I contacted and met a few months later. Once again my A-parents were right there by my side as I set eyes on my birthfather for the very first time and spent the day getting to know a little more about him. Looking back on those hectic few months now, it seems that it was almost too perfect.

It's been a little over a year now since my life changed so completely. Since then I've spent vacations at both my birthparents houses. I've had a great time getting to know all my siblings. I've met grandparents, great-grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends. I thought I had a big family before, and now suddenly it has more than tripled in size! But I think the best part of it all was May 2003 when my Mom and Dad, grandma, and birthparents all gathered to cheer me on as I received my college diploma. When my name was called and I took the mandatory stroll across the stage, I looked out into the audience to the group who stood yelling and cheering. And my heart swelled with joy as that image of them there together burned itself forever into my memory.

And even now, I can't help but wonder how it is that one girl deserves so much joy. But I try not to question it, and I just keep thanking God that we all have this time together. And with the passing of the days we all only love each other more--me and all my parents, and the families united.

[Momofbs]

I'm grinning from ear-to-ear reading your post. It's so wonderful to see reunions work out like that, since not all of them do.

So far my reunion is going great. My firstmother also welcomed me with open arms and loves me for me. Same with my firstfather.

My amom has yet to meet them, but is open and excited to do so.

Best of luck in your continued reunion, and thanks for the smile!

[sspete]

What a GREAT post!!! Your joy made my day!!!! I hope and pray that one day my bdaughter will open her heart to me as you have your bparents!!!! I am SO VERY HAPPY for you!!! Your families are blessed to have you, and each other!!! THis is the way reunions should be......

Staci

[Hval]

As an adoptee: A wonderful joy!!!
As a writer: Nice story!!! Well written!

Congratulations. What a great way to end my day--a story with a happy ending. Or, more hopefully, the first chapter of a much longer story!

Thanks for sharing.

[allabouthorses]

Tenorchick,

I feel the same way!

In my case, my afamily is tiny, and THAT is an understatement! lol
Now, I have a HUGE family. My amom is very involved in my reunion, which means a lot to me, as well. I now have 6 siblings, who cares if they're biologically related to me or not!?!? And I have 2 moms! And, since my adad is a total dud, I finally have a father, too! I couldn't be happier.

Instead of thinking about what I may have lost by not being raised by my bfamily, I look at what I have gained. I have 2 families that mean the world to me, and now they are connected. I see people like my best friend, who has lost her one and only mother, or other people who are all alone in the world, and I think "how can I not feel lucky?"

[creed_04679]

Tenorchick and allabouthorses: Your posts are wonderful, as someone else said, the way reunions should be with all families involved, how lucky you both are. I have a great relationship with my son and it would be wonderful to have his aparents involved with us as well, but I can't ever see that happen. May your relationships continue to grow. creed

[maureen salamon]

Tenorchick, what a great story! I've had a wonderful reunion too but not quite the same as yours (adad is deceased and amom has Alzheimer's) so my families have not been combined as thoroughly as yours. You are so lucky to have such supportive aparents!

Like allaboutthehorses, I like to see what I've gained here instead of what's been lost: for instance, my mom's Alzheimer's has basically rendered her dead, since her personality is gone. And it's been a horrible thing to watch, a terrible loss of such a great woman. But I console myself that I still have a mother, a woman who wants so very much to be the mother to me I need at this point in my life, although she could not do so when I was born. What a blessing! I could simply be without parents; now I still have one of my moms. The glass is half full!

Continued great luck to you as you go through all of your many years as one big happy family!

[Tenorchick]

I wanted to reply to you each individually, but I ran out of time, so I am combining all of my initial replies to each of you in this one long post! Next time, I will try to be better about getting back to you in a timely fashion! :-)

Momofbs--I'm glad that I was able to bring a smile to your day, and I am so happy to hear that your reunion has been successful also. I hope that when your A-Mom finally meets your birthparents they will all realize how lucky they are that they all have you in their lives. Best wishes to you in your journey!

Sspete--I pray that someday your reunion is as wonderful as mine has been. It's like my birthmother ("Momma Dawn" as I call her) once said to me..."I always knew that you would find your way back to me." I think that I was meant to find my way back, for I think that all of us were supposed to be together. And if it is meant to happen for you, I wish you all the happiness in the world.

Hval--are you a writer too??? I knew it was what I was born to be back when I was in 2nd grade and I wrote my first story. I actually plan to write my adoption and reunion story someday because there is so much more to share that I didn't even touch on in the post, but right now, I'm too busy just enjoying it! :-)

Allabouthorses--I know exactly how you feel! It's a bit overwhelming to suddenly be surrounded by so many people who love you so much in so many different ways. But it's also the greatest joy. I am thrilled to hear that you have the father that you always needed (funny how it happens that way...how we're always given just what we need) and that your family has grown so much. I pray that your days are filled with joy and wonder!

Creed_04679--I am sorry to hear that your son's a-parents have not been involved in your reunion, for it truly is a blessing. But perhaps they are just not ready, feeling confused or rejected. I know I worried a lot about my a-parents during my search and reunion, but I made sure that I told them over and over again that I could never and would never replace them, that I loved them and they would always be my parents. I can't even begin to imagine how scary it must have been for them, but I just made sure that they were involved in all aspects of the search and reunion. Perhaps one day you will find a way for all of you to come together, and if not, you can be happy that you all do have one thing in common, a wonderful son whom you all share. I wish you the best in all your endeavors!

Maureen Salamon--I am so sorry to hear about your A-mom's battle with Alzheimer's! I pray that she finds solace and comfort during this difficult time. Again, isn't it amazing how we find the people we need in our lives just when we need them the most. Once of my favorite quotes from the novel Fried Green Tomatoes... "God never closes one door without opening another." Thank you so much for your kind words. You hold onto such hope and optimism and I hope that you find all the happiness you deserve.