[shirleyville]

Now that Shannon has reinstated contact....and has said that she no longer holds a grudge over the fact that I sent Mary Ellen the letter, I REALLY want to ask her what happened when her mom talked to Mary Ellen.
I am so curious to know what Mary Ellen's reaction to the letter was -- I mean I know she wigged out, but I would like to know if there was anything positive that she felt from it. Did it bring her any peace at all hearing from me, and knowing, from my own words, that I would never tell her children about my existance, and that her "secret" is safe with me. I wonder if she believes me, or if my letter made her more fearful.
I am wondering about the "shock factor" -- finding out that I am (and have been) so close all these years and what she had to say about all that.
I wonder about whether -- now that Mary Ellen knows where I grew up -- if she asked Judy if she knew me? I would think she would have....I mean she knows I went to the same school as Judy's daughter, and in a school of only 400 kids --- where Judy was so involved ---- you would think she would ask Judy if she knew me! I wonder what Judy told her? Did she say she knew me back in the day? Did she tell her that she'd been to my parents home? I am SURE she didn't tell her that she had contact with me, but I am wondering if she told her anything about me from when I was young?
I wonder about that conversation -- or if the subject has come up any more.
So many questions......
Do you think I should ask Shannon? Or will that slam the door shut again?
Hugs,
Sal

[shirleyville]

Okay.....so I guess I was a little impatient -- or maybe I just felt that I had nothing to lose in asking....so I just did! LMAO
We'll see if she tells me anything. I obviously prefaced my questions by saying that I understood if she wasn't comfortable sharing this with me.
I am just SO CURIOUS...........
Hugs,
Sally

[patrisha]

I missed your post about Shannon reinstating contact. I know you felt so-so about her, but she was your inside link.

Maybe the renewed connection is the result of something Mary Ellen said? Maybe she wants a link to you, but she's not yet ready for direct contact.

Keep us posted.

Trish

[sspete]

Sally.....I would have said GO FOR IT!!!! She does not have to answer.....You gave her an OUT!!!

I wish with all my heart she would tell you SOMETHING......

I know when my bdaughters amom puts her name in an email to me updating me on this or that I get SOOOO excited....

It just helps to know little things we did not know before about the people that are SO close, but yet so far from us!!!!

I am hoping and praying for an answer for you.....Staci

[shirleyville]

Just this week, actually, Shannon mailed me and said that she was done holding a grudge over the letter. She said that the holidays were horribly uncomfortable for her because it was the first time, since she and I "hooked up" that she had spent large blocks of time with Mary Ellen and her kids....and she felt like the entire time they were together, she was having to keep this enormous secret. She said it bothered her to the point that she just wanted to pretend she didn't know anymore.
I was pleased to hear from her, but it sort of ticked me off that it seemed that MY secret was what made her uncomfortable, when I didn't invite her into this in the first place -- her mother did. And she accepted the "liason" position in this of her own free will....I never asked a thing from her. She made contact with me --I didn't make contact with her.
It's really NO ONES secret, but Mary Ellen's....... It's such a shame that we all have to feel the guilt and the weight of it on her behalf.
BUT -- that's the way it is!
I hope Shannon tells me about the letter, and what happened after Mary Ellen got it. It would really put it all to bed for me, so to speak.
Hugs,
Sally

[maureen salamon]

Well, I certainly hope Shannon answers your questions, Sally, but I wouldn't count on it -- at least not right away. From past experience, you know she has been reluctant or hesitant to share certain things -- it took awhile to see even pictures, right?

That being said, even if she says nothing right away, I think she might come around to sharing what Mary Ellen's reaction to your letter was. I think the question will have to sit with Shannon a little while before this happens.

I had to smirk to myself when I read your last post about this answer "putting all this to bed." It would be fulfilling to have this answer, but it most certainly will not put it all to bed for you, even if you are at peace with what has happened so far. I'm not sure any of this can ever be put to bed for us adoptees, if you know what I mean. I've been in reunion with my bmom for going on two years now and I still wouldn't say I've put everything to bed. I still have questions that I want full answers on. I still have processing to do, of the situation and the people involved. It's probably lifelong, I guess. Not in a bad way -- but never "put to bed."

[potterwhidden]

Hi Shirley...I've been following your story since I've been on here and I think you should ask her. My story is diffrent of course but I just believe in going for it. It is a shame that everyone has to deal with the weight of the situation but it's not your fault. You are curious as to what happened and she has the answers. I've had to ask my baunt alot of difficult questions where I've kind of cringed inside wondering how she would react but unless you ask you'll never know. GOOD LUCK...Emily