[phder]

After four months of waiting for a response to my letter, I sent a very brief holiday card 'reminder', and got a note from the woman I had been told was my BMom. She wrote, very politely and seemingly sincere, that she 'understood my desire to discover my bloodlines and wished me success' but that she had shown my letter to her sister and they had both 'scoured their memories' for any family members that might have put a daughter up for adoption in 1956 and could come up with none! I got her info. from a professional Searcher/Geneologist who was highly recommended by several references. She also had some info. that corresponded with what I had from the adoption agency and seemed to have no doubt about her information. However, the family name is an extremely common Hungarian one and my city of birth was a very large site for people of that nationality, so mistaken identity does seem possible. I am glad now that I kept my letter as professional and non-threatening as I did, but I am still resigned to having to, essentially, start from scratch. Do I petition the courts for my birth certificate and start in trying to do everything myself? Do I use the adoption agency (I don't really like the idea of a third party stranger acting as an intermediary for something this personal and important - in CT that is how they do it and you don't learn anything if the person refuses contact). I am at a loss, but, it is better than the waiting has been! Any help/thoughts/ideas would be greatly appreciated!

[Jackiejdajda]

phder

Maybe give them some time.. But I don't really have an answer.. I just want to say I hear you..

I am so sorry.

Jackie

[Dotneck]

Originally posted by phder
I am glad now that I kept my letter as professional and non-threatening as I did, but I am still resigned to having to, essentially, start from scratch. Do I petition the courts for my birth certificate and start in trying to do everything myself?

Thats got to be hard to take after waiting four months. But it was nice of the woman to write back rather than leave you hanging. (That opinion is coming from someone who is currently left hangin' ).

If your OBC is avialable from the state you may as well get it...and see what you can learn on your own. Maybe also check back with the original researcher...and let them know what you were told...

[snuffie]

HI,

What a disapointment. As one who has searched I know what you must be feeling.

I know you said that you did not want to use the adoption agency but in my state their is a mutual consent agency that will help you not only find your bmom but make the contact. Yes, it is impersonal, but at least you would have the satisfaction of knowing that the correct person was found and contacted.
Possibly, if your state has this option or if the adoption agency itself can do this for you, you may be able to write a personal letter explaining why you want contact.

Best wishes.

Snuffie