[durangowht]

I want to start off thanking each and everyone of you for your postings, knowledge and support. The search is now over for my beautiful daughter Rebekah Claire. She finally received my letter last Wednesday. She lives 850 miles away from me, but the distance did not stop me from getting into the car immediately and driving through the night to meet her. She is 21 years old and has been wanting me to find her since she was old enough to realize that I existed. She has never bonded with her AM (Who is a lovely lady) sadly she would continually lash out to her Mom and tell her to just find me. If I was to have been able to pick parents for her, they would have been the ones. Her parents had even prayed and looked for me so that Claire could start the healing process.

So I arrived at 7:00a.m. on Thursday and she was waiting for me at the hotel. I knew it was her immediately. Genetics are just amazing, she looks so much like me and even more amazing has my exact personality. We hugged and hugged and cried and hugged some more. It was like being in Heaven for our pain has finally ended. My other daughter accompanied me to meet her. She is 2 years younger, I met my husband right after I had Claire. Claire does not have any siblings so she was very open to a Sister and Brother. They hit it off right away, this is so awesome for me to see!! I also fulfilled one of my dreams, to take both of my girls shopping, they had a blast and bought matching clothes and shoes.

Claire is everything I imagined and more. Unfortunately, the she has carried alot of emptyness and pain over being put up for adoption. I know that I will need alot of advise and input as we grow in our relationship and face many hurdles.

I was welcomed with open arms by her parents, but is this the norm? I was shocked. Claire has done alot of rebelling and I think they may be needing support or answers also. All I know is that they have given her a great life and have loved her no matter what and I am so thankful to them, for when I had her I could not have done this for her.

Claire is coming in town Saturday and will stay with me until Wed. I am so excited, but worried it will cause her additional pain and mixed emotions. Does anyone have input on what I should expect while she is here and after she leaves? I will share one important piece of info., I met her best friend and she informed me that Claire wants to move here asap. So I need some input and advise on where I should go from here.

Thank you all and keep searching, the possible end result makes all the searching and waiting worth it!!

A very happy birthmom!
Belinda

[HarrysGirl]

Wow Belinda,

That is just awesome! The only advise I can give you would be to take things slow. Try not to jump into any commitments before you aware of all the feelings involved.

You are all very venerable at this time and probably have at least some unrealistic expectations. That includes your Rebekah, her adoptive family and as well as you, your husband and children. Please try to keep the lines of communication open with her APs as to what their exceptions are also. This will continue to be an emotional time and if you want the relationship to continue I believe you need to go slow.

Just my 2cents worth.

Joyce

[NikkiLGA]

God bless you Belinda. I know you now have peace in your heart, and when you said "its like Heaven", you're so right. I am so happy for you and for Claire. Its like a mystery is finally solved. She has a face and name to go with the word "birth mom." You are no longer a mystery to her.

I am with Joyce. I say take it slow.

I am a reunited adoptee, who was reunited with members of my birth mom, Liz's family, in August, 2002. Liz passed away in 1977 from injuries received in an automobile collission. If you would like, you can read my story at adoption.com, e-magazine, June 17, 2003 issue, entitled "He Did This For Us." Anyways, I would just like to say so many feelings and emotions come and go during reunion. I remember when everything happed, it was almost like I was in some state of shock, like I was there, but I wasn't there. I hope that makes sense. One minute I was happy, the next I was crying, the next I was "what if" and "if only".

My best advice is to pray. Pray that God will give you wisdom during this time. Pray that He would give you the words to speak to your daughter, as well as to her adoptive family.

With love & prayers - NikkiLGA