[Noelle85]

I have been looking for my birthmother for a long time, but had no luck. I've read the non-identifying information about her and it seems we have a lot in common. We both have brown hair, brown eyes, approx. same height and weight (not including her pregnancy weight. I have been dying to meet her.

Recently, my adoptive mother found a card that had the Adoption Agencies name and number on it. The agency had moved, but after a long search I located the agency and called them up. Who should pick up but Mrs. Betty, the lady who handle my adoption.

She told me everything she could remember and has agreed to help me. Since I will be 18 in one week, she has agreed to help me. She is going to contact the courts who have my records to find out my birthmother's name and the address she lived at 18 years ago when I was born. She is going to locate my birthmother and see if she is willing to have contact with me.

I am scared, because I don't know weather or not she will be willing to talk to me. I am so close, but so far at the same time. She was 15 when I was born and in the 10th grade. What if she doesn't want to have contact with me?? What if she just wants to forget I ever happened?

After all this time, this is IT. Either she wants to contact me or she doesn't. If she doesn't, the agency won't tell me anything. If she does, I finally get to meet the family I've been searching for for so long.

Can you see why I'm scared? Advise? Suggestions? Please, tell me what you think!!

~Noelle~
~Scared in Mississippi~

Hi Noelle,

It can be very scary...but exciting at the same time. One question I have is do you have support? I found my bmom at the age of 29 and was amazed at the different emotions I felt. I was lucky in that I was not rejected. But there are very many scenarios some good some bad but whatever the situation..good or bad...your are going to need support. Read through these forums and you will find a myriad of different situations and feelings.

Maybe if you just get the info now and act on it later....give yourself some time to process feelings.

Donna

[NewlyScotGirl]

Wanted to express my support & encouragement to you ... and it's totally understandable that you have a lot of emotions! Adoption and contact aren't tidy issues that fit neatly into most 18 year-old's experience -- or any age, for that matter. We all have pretty unique experiences based on the people close to us and the circumstances involved -- there's not a lot of uniformity "cause society doesn't have any "standards" for issues like contact/searching. So it's hard to know what will happen -- and it must be hard to wait, too!

Just know that what you're doing -- asking for information that belongs to you -- is a Good and Great thing. For adoptees, I think it's essential. (For other people, please understand that it is sometimes a messy, thorny issue of life) You're a brave girl and I'm really proud of you for doing this -- warm wishes for good news soon--Sandy

[colin]

This is close, and you may have success, are you ready?

This is a large event, have you a handle on the issues you want to discuss?

Even if the agency yeilds nothing, do not give up, there are other ways and people here in the forums that may be able to help.

Hang on and Best of luck.

colin

[sspete]

I am very happy for you that you are getting closer to meeting your bmom!! What a great experience it can be, but be prepared it can also be VERY difficult emotionally!!!! You must be ready for ANYTHING.....You never know what your bmom will be like or how she will respond!!! Reunions can be wonderful but they are a roller coaster ride with MANY, MANY different feelings involved. Take one step at a time, and remember to go very slowly when getting to know her!!! You will be in my thoughts and prayers as the agency contacts her......I hope all goes well!!! Please keep us informed!!!! Blessings.....

S PEte