[sspete]

Hi ALL----I was reading over a thread that Dragonfly started about adoptees and their original names. I found this very interesting!!! When my bdaughter and I began corresponding she asked me about her birth and the events surrounding it. I gave her ALL the info that I had waited years to say, while also telling her what I would have named her. After doing this I thought maybe that was not such a good idea!!!! We have not talked about anything that was in that letter since then, so I really do not know what her feelings were on this. We are taking our reunion slowly for it seems to be the best way to form a lasting relationship.

My question for the adoptees is----Would you perfer that your bmom share what she would have named you, or does this not seem important to you????

I remember looking at my bdaughter when she was only minutes old, and knowing in my heart what I wanted to name her. I never told anyone what that name was, as I did not want to take that priviledge from her adoptive parents. I always wondered what they named her!!! After all, that is one of the fun things about becoming a parent. We as little girls start talking to one another of this when we are only dreaming of having children!!!


Blessings to ALL!!!! S Pete

Adoptive Parents and Birth Moms I welcome your comments on this ALSO!!!!! Thanks ALL!!!

Funny sspete,

My 13 year old daughter was just talking to a few of her friends on line...and that was the topic of conversation. My daughter is going to have 4 kids and all their names are picked out! We shall see! Her friend is having septuplets....my daughter informed her of how hard that would be....kinda cute listening to them.

Because I was older, my parents kept my name,although they did change the middle name.

In thinking about your questions....I don't think it would bother me at all, I thinks it shows how much you really do and did think of her.

You know sspete, I am hoping that your daughter does come around you are so loving and understanding I think it would be such a positive for both of you and her aparents.

Donna

[Cleopatrick]

Interesting question sspete. We only named one of our three children, although we did change the spelling on ones first name and one's middle. I guess I had never though about my son's bmom having named him, if only in her heart. She let us pick his name for the same reason you said, that it's fun to name a baby and she had already named her daughter. Do you think it would upset her if I asked her the next time I talked to her what she would have named him? I would really love to know now that you've brought it up, lol.

[Stephaniesbmom]

Sspete,

You know I am not an adoptee but...

You have my curiosity up...so what was the name you would have called your daughter? I thought my daughter was going to be a boy during the pregnancy (because she kicked to darn hard!) so I really didn't have a girl's name picked out. "Page" was a popular name then...but my boyfriend liked boys names like "Chance and Hunter" YUCK!

To be honest, I am getting some of the same responce that you are from my daughter...and I didn't tell her what I would have named her...so I doubt that is the main reason. I feel that it was more the huge influx of information and the fact that they had no idea that someone they don't even know loves them so much!

Again, I admire your patience and the restraint you show in remembering that your is daughter first in this whole thing!

Great question...I am interested to see what the adoptees think!

Chris

[debsdone]

Ok, this is cool. (I haven't seen the other thread dealing with this...)
My birthmom told me she keeps feeling confused when hearing my name, as she (in her mind) had named me Leeza. I gotta tell you, this has been one of the coolest things about meeting her! My best girlfriend, who has had that title since we were 12, now calls me by that name when she calls! I love it! It's interesting because all 3 of my daughters have an L in their names. One has her first name begin with an L and 2 have their middle names. There is no reason for that.....no family name or anything. so I was (and am) really excited about this bit of information! Love, Debi

[sspete]

Thanks everyone for replying!!!!

Donna--I think she is coming around--she has opened to a little more communication lately!!! YEAH!!!!!

Cleo--I do not think it would upset her at all!!! It might make her happy to know you where wondering!!!

Chris---I am trying with the patience thing!!! I would have chosen Amanda Michelle for her name!!! She was the dantiest, most beautiful, little five pound blonde baby you have ever seen!!!

Debi--Leeza is a beautiful name!!!! That is too wild about all the "L's"!!! You and your bmom must thing a like!!! I am SO glad to here you thought it was cool to know what she would have named you!!!

Thanks Everybody!!!!!

S Pete

[sweetnoodle]

It was an extremely important piece of information that I wanted to know, and I did find out. Weirdness being that I am a twin, and the name my adoptive parents picked for my sister was the name my birthmom picked for me.

I thought I was just weird about all the things that are/were so important to me about reunion.

Sincerely,

sspete....I am happy for you! Donna

[vicrose]

I think it would be sooo cool to find out what birthmom has originally named me...my Aunt told me a few weeks ago that at the final adoption hearing they mentioned my birthname, but that she couldn't remember...she thought it was some really Irish name....the funny thing is....my biological sister's name is Christina..and the name that I chose for myself at my Confirmation was Christina...isn't that ironic!!!! Hugs, Brenda.....

[Shoshana]

My birth name was Anna Marie Amos. Kind of melodic, huh? My birth mother blocked many of the details surrounding my birth and honestly doesn't remember if she gave me that name (or even if she saw me).

My adoptive name is Elizabeth Ann and I was called Ann until I hit 18 and rebelled.

When my birth mother subsequently had two children, she named the Laura Ann & Cheryl Marie.

Oh, and our birthdays are
Jun 7
July 5
Aug 3...

Anyway, it was important to me to know my original name (I saw it when I acquired my birth certificate). It was kind of jarring -- it seemed foreign -- more so than just about finding out anything else. Maybe because it symbolized that I really DID have, even if briefly, a different identity.

I'm glad your relationship is progressing, Sspete

[sal]

Interesting topic......I saw my original name in print when I was probably in Junior High School.......and it looked SO FOREIGN to me- Linda Leigh....It was comforting to me after the initial shock because it finally gave me my beginning......I hadn't really existed until I arrived at my adoptive home when I was 8 weeks old. The first few weeks were blank.....as if I were hatched at that age.. LOL. I have 2 daughters, one I gave my middle name now to and the other one has Leigh as her middle name. I was happy to actually be able to name both of my daughters after me. I've been reunited with my bmom for 2 years now and she was absolutely THRILLED during our first phone call when I told her that I had carried on the middle name that she had given me. My bmom's youngest sister was THRILLED as well when she found that out too........I had been named after her.....she had been only been 4 years old when I was born. Now we joke about the fact that we would have had 3 L's on our sweater ala Laverne since their last name also began with and L. I know for me that I can't learn too many details.......I want to know EVERYTHING... After living my life with NO information......I'm a blank slate ready to fill in ALL the blanks. I'm thinking that many adoptees might feel the same way......

[BrandyHagz]

Wow, lots of touching stories.

I never knew till I came here that women who placed their children in closed adoption had the chance to name their child on their OBC.

My story isnt as nice as yall's...


My legal name, until the adoption was finalized almost 2 years after my birth was "Baby Girl Schwarzauer"

I just thought this was normal.

[echaos]

I've always known my birth name, Colleen Wilson, because it was on the adoption order. I never really thought much about it growing up. Iris, my birth mother, had a bit of a hard time thinking about me as Andy when we first met, as she had spent 30+ years thinking aboutn Colleen.

For my son, his birth mother asked us to name him, so his original birth certificate has the names we picked out with his birth mothers last name.

[Alli27]

I found out my original First & middle name from the Cath Charities when I did my original search (total disaster) 7 years ago. It did sort of freak me out a little, but made me more glad of my current legal name.

[sararuth]

I knew my given name as long as I can remember. Sara Ruth. I was renamed by my aparents right when they "got the call" that I had been born. Ever since I was a "tweenager" I said if I ever had a daughter, I was going to name her Sara Susanne after myself and my amom. Of course I had a boy and had no names picked out until I was five months along.

When my bmother was contacted by the agency 13 years ago, she declined contact, she also declined to know what my name is now. I guess she will likely always remember me as an infant named Sara Ruth. Maybe it is less painful for her to think I am "just a baby" and not an actual person with my own thoughts, feelings, memories and opinions.

I think I found my bfather's family (unnamed in adoption papers) and Sara Ruth doesn't come from their side of the family. Hmmm. Another mystery I will have to solve . . .