[GinaD73]

In a different sort of way... I met my b-mom on July 3, we got together again the next day and I remembered to take my camera that time! Anyhow, today I got my first picture and me and my amom both just stared at it for a long time. I e-mailed it to some friends and one of them replied saying how much we look alike...there are some definite resemblances. It's a strange feeling though, to sit there and be able to stare at the face that gave birth to you. Congratulations of your find and good luck in your journey!!!! Gina.

[Dragonfly82]

Sally ~ This is FANTASTIC!!! I am so happy for you! I yelled out to my husband ~ 'Sally has Mary Ellen's senior picture . . . this is SOOO cool!!'

Go Sally Go!!!!

Hey! If you wrote a book, I'd buy it!! Following your story has been so exhilarating!! It's been a 'page turner' from the start and it's like I can't put the book down!

Congratulations on your recent 'find'!! AWESOME!!!

My prayers are with you Sally on your journey!

[shirleyville]

Dragonfly....
LMAO, I feel like I am a "household word" since your husband knows the story!!
My husband came in about 9:00 from working outside, and I gave him his plate for dinner, and he was just sitting there looking at me!! I asked him what was wrong, and he said, "I really can't believe you look so much like her!" His face was SO serious....and I realized that this is all of the sudden something he was UNDERSTANDING. I mean he saw all of the old family pictures and has heard all of the "saga", but until he saw a picture of her -- a CLEAR, CLOSE UP PICTURE -- I honestly don't think he understood any of this.
I can't believe it, myself!! It is SCAREY!
I took a digital picture of the picture I brought home from the library, and I put it into a document with digital pictures taken of my old school pictures....all lined up together.....and I sent them to a friend of mine, who didn't know me until recently. I purposely used the black and white feature so they were similar in look. My friend said, "WOW! OMG!!!! Where did you get ALL THOSE pictures of your mom???" She thought they were ALL Mary Ellen!!
I can't get over it!! And just as all the other "pieces" have lead me to want more, this REALLY does it!!!!
Thanks to everyone sharing with me, and for your wonderful words!
I love you guys!
Sally

[Sharon]

Sally, I'm so excited for you!
I recently received 2 photos of my birthson, the first pictures I've seen of him since he was a baby. It is an incredible experience to see a photo of someone you feel connected to and want to know so badly! And to see the physical resemblance... to know there is another person walking around with your same face, your same eyes... it truly is a remarkable feeling. I'm so glad you found this picture. Do you feel like you could just study it for hours? After I received my photos, I just sat staring at them for days... my husband thought I was crazy, but I was so endlessly fascinated! Now I don't need to look at the photos; I have the image memorized and can see it in my mind anytime I want.
Now you've got me curious, dang it! I want to see the photo of your bmom. Why don't you post it publicly so we can all get a good look at her? (Just kidding )
Congratulations and best wishes, Sharon

[vicrose]

Hi Sally, I have followed your journey for so long now, and I am so pleased that you have not given up the search to find more answers. I know I told you that I was going to write my siblings a letter one day...but honestly, that is way too emotional for me...so I think for now I am going to do like you and just try to find out everything I can about them first...you know go to the library..find old high school photos, maybe do a drive by they're homes to get a little peek. Because I, like you are very sensitive to the fact that we did not enter into this search to ruin anyone's life...we just want to feel like we are somewhat part of the big picture....yes, we are a part of of birthmother's family...we are still one of her children...if even from a distance!!!! Hugs, Brenda

[Laura Palmer]

I am so happy to hear the news about your mom's senior picture!!!! I haven't been on in a while. But am very excited for you!!! I hope you feel a little better. I could have told you the same thing----I should have looked at my daughter or in the mirror & I would have seen my birthmom everytime!!!!! Great investigating!!!!!!!!!!! Sue

[bajohnson]

Sally,
I think that is wonderful! I can imagine what she looks like. I hope one day to be sharing the same news with you. I think that I would give anything in the world right now to hold a picture of my birthmom in my hands.
I am especially glad that your husband had an AHA moment. Mine is much the same in his lack of understanding. He's great, but just doesn't get it. He calls the Forum my "cult". I think he's jealous of the time I spend here, so I try to do it mostly when he's at work. Not too hard as he works nights. LOL.
I won't hide the fact that I'm envious, but I will always celebrate your victories with you and I'm Snoopy dancin' my heart out right now!
Hugs and more,
Beth

[shirleyville]

SO.... , for those of you who recall how I actually came to locate where my birthfamily was, you will remember my 70+ year old "cousin" Jean, who is my grandfather's cousin.
Anyway, I sent her the picture of Mary Ellen, with the ones of me, in my youth, next to it, so they can be compared....and she just e-mailed me back -- amazed at the resemblence -- but ALSO amazed at a "twin like" connection between myself and one of my grandfather's sister's granddaughter (Ella is my grandfather's sister, and HER granddaughter, Nan, looks exactly like me!! )!! How amazing is THAT??
Now I look like TWO people!!
Hope you all had a great weekend!
Hugs,
Sally

[dl]

Wow - that it totally cool! Is cousin Jean going to send you a picture of granddaughter Nan?

Keep digging shirleyville - you'll get there!!

[shirleyville]

I am here to tell ya...the Reno clan are a protective bunch!
Jean was very forthcoming with me about all of the "dead relatives" -- she has my family tree all the way back to the 1700's, including marriage certificate copies and death record copies, and she sent them ALL to me in the mail, long ago, which is a lovely and treasured gift.....but when it comes to living people, she won't give out information.
She and my grandfather's sisters (Ella included) were thick as theives and she is so afraid of doing something to betray the relationship they once had. Silly, I know, since Ella and her siblings are long dead, but I respect her for that!
She doesn't have to show me pictures of Nan.....or share anything about her with me. It's just cool knowing I look EXACTLY like her!
Hugs,
Sal

[Cleopatrick]

Hi Sally, just saw this message and want to say congrats! I look just like my mom's pic's when she was younger too. I'm really glad you found the picture and good job on finding it too!

[shirleyville]

Okay, Guys.....
With a deep breath, I am here to say that I have written "the letter". I knew that when the time was right, the words would come, and they did. Every other time I tried to start the letter, I would get to "Dear Mary Ellen" and I would stop. Nothing seemed right and nothing felt good.
Tonight, after I got my "cousin Jean's" e-mail, I tried again, and the words seemed to pour out of me like I was destined to say them. It feels "good" and it feels "right".
I will share the first part of it here....I think you all deserve to hear it, because you are a part of this. You are holding my hand all the way.....
So, here is the first part of the letter....
Dear Mary Ellen,
Funny – it seems odd just writing your name. You are such a “familiar stranger” to me. There is a part of you that has lived in my heart and soul for almost 39 years, yet you, as a person, are completely unknown to me. There are parts of you that I believe I know, instinctively, because we once shared a body – and then, there is the part of you that has been shaped by the journey of life, over the last 38 years, that I couldn’t possibly know.
The part of you that I believe I know instinctively, is the woman I want to wrap my arms around, and comfort right now, because I know the receipt of this letter has struck a chord of fear in you that is immeasurable and to the core. Please don’t be afraid, because I understand, and you have nothing to fear from me, DearHeart! I understand that I am your “secret” – that your children (my siblings) have no knowledge of my existence – and it’s okay!! I know that you worry they would never “understand”, and they don’t have to – because your “secret” is safe with me. It always has been – and it always will be. You and I were the only ones there when this journey began, and we are the only two here, now. This isn’t “about” anyone else, my dearest MeMe (the name I have given you, in my heart) – this is about two women….grown adults….who once shared a body, making a connection that is so vital to the well-being of us both. This moment is ours and there is no one else that belongs in it. I can assure you, that at this moment in time, no one will ever know about this communication, unless you choose to share it.
My name is Sally….and I am your daughter. I was born on October 4th, 1964, at Ball Memorial Hospital, at 5:48 PM. I weighed six pounds, 13 ½ oz, and was 19 ½ inches long. I know that you were 21 years old at the time, and financially unable to take care of me. It’s okay, MeMe (((warm hugs)))….I understand. I have never – ever – felt anything but thankfulness in my heart for you….for your unselfish decision to give me life, because my life is a gift I treasure each and every day that I am living it – and I live it, filled with joy and love, as you hopefully intended.
I want you to know that I realize that I am here to love, and be loved in return, because of you – and that my life is one that touches many people. My parents are treasured people in my life, who continued giving me life once you and I parted, but I can neither ignore or forget where it all originated, and I carry you with me, in my heart, every single day. I need for you to know that your gift has made a difference in this world – a difference that will continue on, indefinitely – because I am alive.
I understand your reasons behind denying contact, and I respect your choice, but I had to try, myself – just once – to reach out to you, personally. If you look within your heart, as I have with you, I think you will understand that my desire to connect, even if in this small way, with you is so strong. It is pure, and innocent – with no malice or ill-intent. It is simply the innate desire of a daughter – both the child and the woman – reaching out to touch a part of her life that has been lost. It is an attempt of a woman, just like you – a part of you – to say “thank you” and “I love you”. How can that be a “bad” thing – for either of us? No one need know…as I said, this is yours and mine. You don’t carry this alone – you never have. I carry it too. You are my mother – I am your daughter. I believe that once….just once….we have the right to allow ourselves the opportunity to acknowledge one another, for our soul’s sake. The healing, I believe, would be incredible. If, after that one “connection”, you feel you want to move on without further acknowledgement, then I give you my complete and utter respect and understanding. I give you my word – something you can have and hold, that is as sure as the sun – that you will never hear from me again, if that is your wish.
I may not have the “right” to ask this, because you have already given so much, as a woman…..but I want you to search your heart and find within it, just a very small place that can be mine – a place that will allow you to believe that I will not hurt you, and I will not betray your “secret”. I couldn’t – it is ours. I would just like to ask for one small acknowledgement….to hear from you just once --- and if I dared to dream, to see you once. It would be the culmination of 38 years worth of praying and hoping that this day might come. If it can’t, I want to hear it from you.
****************
What do you think?
Hugs,
Sally

[dl]

Wow - "bearing your soul" is certainly the truth! What a beautiful letter. You have acknowledged and understood her fears. You validate that she gave you life and you have lived it well, with joy, with the help of your adoptive parents who continued to give you life - which you give her credit for wanting for you.

Your plea to have her acknowledge you directly is so obviously heartfelt - as is your understanding of her need to keep things secret. I personally don't understand how any woman could deny you after reading this but - - I've seen many things on the forum that have surprised me. I worry for you - if you receive a negative response - or worse, no response at all. I can't comprehend how Mary Ellen could do that after reading this but my concern for you causes me to caution you.

This is beautiful Sally.

((((Hugs))))

[Sharon]

Oh, Sally... I don't know what to say. Your letter is beautiful; perfect. If this doesn't melt her heart, nothing ever will.
Good luck...
Shar

[shirleyville]

Scooby (aka Dlouis ),
Don't worry for me......anything and everything I could feel went into this letter, and went right out with it. Once it goes in the mail, this all is over, as far as I am concerned. I will do what I can to find out my birthfather's name, but as far as Mary Ellen is concerend, I have said my "piece", and I have said it as well as I can. I have maintained all along that I want her to know where I am coming from, and I believe I have done that.
And yes, I know I am cutting ties with Shannon and her mom by doing this.........but I am willing to take that chance. It's like being on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire".........you can be "safe" and walk with the money you have, or you can risk it all, because you came into it with nothing. I came into this with nothing, and there is NO WAY I can walk away the same way I came in. I have a WEALTH of knowledge I would never have had. It's time to move on to what's behind door #2...oh, wait -- different game show!
Anyway, I am ready, and it will go in the mail tomorrow.
Sharon, thank you for respecting me -- as I have the deepest respect for you (other thread, but who cares ) The fact that you find this letter "okay" means a lot!
Love you!
Sal