[NikkiLGA]

Ca Grandma is exactly right. You know my b-mom tried to find me up until she passed away. She was told I was fine, and she needed not to look. The agent went so far as lying to Liz about the state I was in and the people who adopted me.

Hang in there.

Love - NikkiLGA

[Talia]

I hope that you don't give up looking - because honestly that could discourage others - that are around the same age that you are - and I am to stop.

I believe that when the time is right you will find your birthfamily - I will find my birthfamily and others will find theirs as well.

I am 31 years old and have been searching for my birthfamily for half of my life. Sure some days I feel like giving up and saying, forget this- if they wanted to find me they would, but honestly I don't feel that that is the case.... Most birthparents - Just don't know how to find us... They are usually technically challenged - no offfense- meaning that they don't use computers... you know not everyone knows how - the younger generations - yes they will and do know how to use computers - My birthdaughter- who is only 8 1/2 know how to use it better than I do, this is because most schools nowadays have computers in the classrooms - library, etc. - its a teaching tool to prepare them for the future. My adoptive mother just began using a computer a few years ago - and believe me when I say it was challenge getting her there.

I hope that my birthmother - birthfamily is out there looking for me - I just need to use the tools that were/are available to her, registering with the state you were born with , filing waiver to release information - going and physically retrieving birth certificates and adoption files - anything and everything on papers. Also look in back logs of newspapers - from the date of your 18th birthday - 21st Birthday - 25th Birthdays- these are milestones and compared to the different states and laws - each state has a release date of birth information - when / if it is avavilable. Every state is different - But for those born before 1980 most are paper trails that lead you to your Birth Families.

I wish you luck - me luck and everyone searching luck - one day it will happen - I hope !

Andy

[dl]

I personally don't think that you can assume anything when it comes to another persons feelings or beliefs. There are many variables in every situation but expecially in such a personal and emotional one as placing a child for adoption.

Everyone reacts differently and the way adoption was handled years ago also has an affect on how your bmother may be feeling. As an adoptee, the attitudes of the past affected how I viewed things. I felt that I would be an intrusion to bparents. I have been critisized by some on the forum, even called cold and callous, for waiting till now to search, but as "CaGrandma" says "I do not think they were told they must not look,. reunion was never a possibilty to be dreamed of in those days,.". It was the same for adoptees that came of age with a different mentality of society. I was never told "not to look" but reunion was not the common occurence that it is now. Why would anyone tell you NOT to do something that simply was NOT done? The internet has certainly been a big help to many in recent years, but don't forget that not everyone is online.

Go with your heart and best of luck! By the way, I noticed that when you started your thread your first post spelled out "Birth Mom". In later posts the abbreviation "birthmom" is being used. After reading many posts by bmothers (a thread even addressed this topic) I am very aware how offensive many find that abbreviation as it is commonly used for a bodily function. If you don't want to spell it out, bmom, bmother and bio-mom are commonly used and much more pleasant. Just a friendly "heads up" - Thanks!

[VirginiaStegall]

Kelly:
Myself, I would not push to locate my daughter but, since last year I felt a strong desire to make myself available. She was 33 on Jun 10th. She was born in Virginia and adoption took place in Maryland. I don't believe I could have handled an open adoption. I felt she was placed with her adoptive parents and I did not want to interfer in her life, especially while she was growning up. I believe the internet has made things so much easier for us searchers.
If it is God's will, we will find each other.
I do not want to say anything that will discourage anyway from searching.

[NancyJo]

My recent reunion only happened because I looked for my bmom. She was overjoyed that I found her, but she also said she never would have looked for me. She made a decision 33 years ago and stuck with it.
She had no idea I had been two hours away my whole life. She just made up her mind that she wasn't going to upset my life by finding me.

[rxy3453]

I sure do hope that A mother whom gave up even one child would wonder at some point in their life I am an adoptee looking for birth parents and 8 other 1/2 sibilings ., And I am 33 and 3 children and there hasn't been one day that I haven't thought of my birth parents,, see I was taken by the local police department and put up for adoption at three months old and finally adpted out at four years old because my birth parents couldn't get it together, and my other half sibilings were adopted out too... So have faith , faith will get you anywhere , just believe!........

[RiverPearl]

I have registered since the year I gave birth. But I won't press for connections until she comes to me. I signed a paper that I would not intrude into her world without an invite from her. It was a terrible struggle to do what I did. All I wanted was to take my baby home but circumstances with my parents in our crowded home (8 siblings) made it impossible. But by signing that paper, I made a promise to let her have a good life with a couple who wanted her and was ready to raise her. June 29, 1969 in Cincinnati, OH.
I found a company that said that they had found her and gave me her BC # and that her name was changed to Barb. They got upset with me for not taking the next step......but it is up to her. So please, if you want your Mom to see you and to be able to ask her questions, open up the door.

[angellover95]

kelly no not all bmoms thinks that way i myself am looking for someone and im having a hard time at it and this person is 32 now and i am having oneheck of a time finding her so i wold say the answer to that question is no

[snow princess]

Hi kelly

I'm a bmom searching for my bson - he will be 25 this year. I agree with other Bmoms - search you will never know if she is looking or wants contact unless you try.

I would never search out my bson unless I knew or thought he was looking for me. I would not want to intrude if he did not want me there.

I saw a posting on a site that I am 99.99% sure is him, but contact info has been lost by site manger so I am now trying every other avenue.

So like me, if my son had not put that posting and I had not seen it, I wojuld not be activly searaching for him.

I say SEARCH ~! Just bear in mind that not all searches end happily, not everyone does want that contact BUT there are just as many that do !

. Keeping that in mind - I would continue with search if your heart says to and have some good emotional support close by, someone who you can keep abreast of your search so that they are available to share your joy or tears.

I wish you the best in your search - register everywhere, register with ISRR and if your state you were born in has a registry - register there too. Just don't post your dob, ss#, add, ph, etc, use your email as contact. There are predators out there!

god bless
hugs - mary