[GinaD73]

My reunion so far has consisted of "group gatherings", tomorrow however, my bmom and I are going to have lunch together. I'm a little bit nervous, as is she. We've exchanged a couple of e-mails and she told me that she wasn't sure how to go about this, wasn't sure what I wanted to know, and that I should please not think that she doesn't want to know me because she does. I responded to her that I completely understand her position (or at least that I'm trying to) and that I think it is going to be alot like any other relationship, in that it's going to grow over time and that communication is key, as long as we are comfortable being honest about when we get uncomfortable or feel "rushed/pushed" that in time we'll grow closer and bond more....
I'm just wondering if I'm on the right track with this. I was the one who searched and initiated contact, hoping only to find medical information and not really hoping for anything more than that, it turns out that my bmom lives in the same town where I grew up and we ended up reuniting the same day that I found her name, so It's all been a very fast thing. On the other hand, it doesn't seem like I've been a secret or something bad that happened because our first meeting took place with my b-g-ma and an uncle and great uncle. Again, just hoping someone has some advice about whether I'm on the right track with this thing, and to reassure me that it's okay to be this nerve wrecked over our first "one on one" conversation.
Thanks in advance....Gina D.

[Just Julie]

I think it sounds like the two of you are very much on the right track, open and honest and willing to give each other time and space. Being nervous is completely understandable. Let us know how the lunch meeting went!

[mzakarian]

i cant wait tell i post my reunion on this pagecongrats

[GinaD73]

Well, the meeting went well and we spent about four hours together.
I found out the circumstances of my birth, which were less than ideal since I was conceived by rape. However, I have over the years considered this a possibility and for some reason it weighed on my mind heavily before I began my search anew in early July. In the brief time I've known my bmom, I've seen that she is very compassionate and a strong and wonderful woman, who has had her share of problems, as have we all. Although I have some grief over finding out what I found out today, I have no animosity toward her, I'm thankful that she's still open to knowing me in spite of my unsavory conception. I will always have a hole in my heart for not knowing my paternal background, however, since there is very little chance of finding it out, I don't think it's likely that I'll even look as I don't think I'd have much to say to someone who is a rapist. I think it will take awhile to forgive him for that. On the other hand, I have my faith and my family's support in dealing with this.
This forum has been so helpful in dealing with this, and to those still searching I say, be patient and keep your faith. And Good Luck to you...
I think I'll go to bed now. Good night.

[Pandora]

Hi

http://www.stigmatized.org/

This might be something you may want to look at and you may find some help and support from people who truly understand what you feeling and what you are going through.

Good luck

Pandora