[Xochitl]

I was born 18 years ago, on April 10, 1985. My parents were fresh into college and barely adults. My mother Veronica raised me herself and did a wonderful job, I love her more than anything. My father on the other hand, told me that he didnt want to be my father. I remember the day he took me to the park, told me this news, and broke my heart- I was only 5 years old. Throughout my entire life I have thought about him, first I wanted him in my life and then as I got older, I realized that I didnt. However, I would like to speak to him just to get to know him a little bit. I know his name is Kenneth McCready and that hes irish but thats about it. We are both from Michigan. Should I call him and speak to him or risk getting rejected. If I do call him, what should I talk to him about??? My mother would tell me about him if I asked, but I know it would just make her really really uncomfortable, so I'd rather not. I just feel so immature about this subject and could really use some advice. Thank-you, Xochitl

[sspete]

Hi--If you indeed want to contact your dad, I would not call, Start by writing a letter. I would be ready for anything though. There is a lot involved in reuniting with a birth parent. Take things very slowly and in the letter tell him you have just been curious if he is doing okay. I know this is hard for you. I wish you the best of luck. This is not an easy step. spete

[mgonza1]

Don't know if you have his info...

looked on www.ussearch.com. There is a
Kenneth A. McCready age 39 (looks like he's been in Lansing and two other towns)... No current phone listed on superpages or switchboard..

There is also a Kenneth C McCready aged 80 (or thereabouts)..
in Sparta (MI). Perhaps his dad??

Wouldn't hurt to find out.. perhaps if you can't make peace with your dad.. granddad would be a nice try...

Didn't find any one named Kenneth under alternate spelling of MacCready. But there are 3 that come up on www.peopledata.com as well.

/Mary Ellen

[mgonza1]

You can purchase the info they have on these people if you think they are the people you are looking for...

[mgonza1]

That's a sad story regarding your dad telling you that..
I have a sad memory of my dad.. passing me right by on the street and not saying anything to me.. (my parents were divorced when I was 3 and i am not adopted)... and that was hurtful..
I was young back then and very shy...

I think you owe it to yourself to try to contact him.. and to have some kind of closure.. If that is his character (to be harsh).. than that is not a reflection on you.. my dad was terribly sarcastic and I took it all wrong as a child.. not to say that that bears any reflection on your case.. but I took what he said to heart without realizing that he was just that way.. Some people 'glide' thru peoples hearts. and others stomp on them.. sometimes unintentionally.. meaning that's the way their character is..

A friend once told me .. always give them the benefit of the doubt.. lots of time has passed.. it's worth a try...
But set your expectations very low ...

[bajohnson]

We share the same birthday, only 21 years apart. Happy Birthday!
I think sspete is right in suggesting a letter first. That gives him time to digest your request and form a response. If you called him he would have no time and may reject you again, just out of shock or surprise.
I also am sorry for your pain and wish you the best of luck.
B

[Xochitl]

The thing about contacting my father is that I don’t want to consume that much time and energy into something that isn’t too important to me... It seems like this would be very important to me, and it once was, when I was younger. But after growing up, I came to a realization about many things. I want to contact Kenneth, but I don’t know why. There’s just a part of me that wants to know who he is, after all, he took part in creating me. Thank-you so much for helping me with that information. do know that my father is a jr. and the age really helps because now Im almost positive that it is him. I do agree with you Mary, I might as well try, and if things don’t work out, at least I will have closure... which is ok because Im not expecting anything out of this anyway. Happy Birthday to you B! I actually had to think about what you said about the letter now. That does make a lot more sense, on having time to respond and think about it. Hmm. I guess I better get writing. Hope you all have a nice day!

~Xochitl

[BobbyTC]

Xochitl,
My heart goes out to you. That was a very traumatic experience you went through. I am a birth father who recently reunited with my birthdaughter. She has been raised by her birthmother and a man who the birthmother married a few years after our breakup. He adopted her. I never met my daughter (A decision I made with my head and not my heart) Having experienced the void of knowing you have a child whom you have not met, I would imagine that you weigh heavy on his mind. You might be pleasantly surprised. It's certainly worth a try. My BDaughter contacted me via e-mail though I did run into her mother and made it known that I would welcome it. Good Luck and you have a wonderful mother.