[Toff]

My biological mother did not respond to my attempts at contact. I have an older half-brother who was not put up for adoption (I was a bastard). I've been thinking about contacting him. I don't know if he knows about me or not, or if he knows his mother had an affair. His parents are divorced, I don't know when that happened, but I presume it was because of the affair. He has a daughter and is a widower.

I wonder how much I should tell him in contacting him? I could just tell him I'm his half-brother and that I was put up for adoption when he was a year old, and if he wants to know more he can ask. Or I can volunteer the information as to which parent we have in common, and that she had an affair while his father was away in Vietnam, who then came back before I was born.

[cksmom]

I can only guess but I would assume that your brother has no idea you exist. I would assume also that based on your b-mom's lack of response, she is probably not ready or willing to deal with the pain of the adoption and her past. that is what lead me to believe that she would not tell her older child about you because she is ashamed of the circumstances and afraid that he will also judge her for her actions.

based on that theory, I would be very cautious and prepared for various reactions if you do contact him. he could be angry or happy or somewhere in the middle. You never know.

Good luck to you!!

[Toff]

It's definitely an unknown.