[Kelly/Adriana]

Good Afternoon Everyone!
I am needing some advice. I am really not sure what to do! I met my birthmother 2 years ago...it hasn't been going so well. And, I will admit, I have been the one who really didn't stay in contact. She sent me a letter in April telling me "goodbye". I thought that was kind of wierd. But, my point is this: My birthmother stated that I have two younger sisters, they have a different father, and I think they were born in California. How do I go about even finding out any information. I have their first names, but I am sure they don't share her last name. I am confused, and I really would like to find my younger sisters. I do not wish to have any contact with her...I found a phone number for one of her sisters (my aunt)..but I don't want to call and disrupt my aunt's life. I need some advice. Thanks! Have a great 4th of July!

[Dickons]

You met your mother and did not want to maintain contact. Your mother sent you a good bye letter which would seem to mean that she is hurting to the point of needing to say 'enough'.

Now you find you have two siblings and want to reach out. After you meet them are you going to walk away again?

Sorry if this seems harsh but you are not 18 and unaware of how one persons acts can hurt another.

If one of my family members did that to me I would be devastated, so I plead with you to reach deep inside and if you truly want a relationship so be it, but if you are simply curious, do not take the chance of causing more pain by meeting and walking away.

Kind regards,
Dickons

[bprice215]

I'm sorry but I couldn't have said it better.
bprice215

[curiositykitten]

Originally Posted by Kelly/Adriana

Good Afternoon Everyone!
I am needing some advice. I am really not sure what to do! I met my birthmother 2 years ago...it hasn't been going so well. And, I will admit, I have been the one who really didn't stay in contact. She sent me a letter in April telling me "goodbye". I thought that was kind of wierd. But, my point is this: My birthmother stated that I have two younger sisters, they have a different father, and I think they were born in California. How do I go about even finding out any information. I have their first names, but I am sure they don't share her last name. I am confused, and I really would like to find my younger sisters. I do not wish to have any contact with her...I found a phone number for one of her sisters (my aunt)..but I don't want to call and disrupt my aunt's life. I need some advice. Thanks! Have a great 4th of July!

I have to agree with what the previous two posters have said. I'll also ask you to consider how they might react if you have a bad relationship with your mother and then want to start a new relationship with them. Depending on their ages, it might make it hard for them to understand.

Are you sure that there's nothing that you and your biomom can do to work on your relationship together?

[Kelly/Adriana]

I regard to the comments which were made. I understand completely. However, many events happened between my birthmother and I when we did meet...and that is why I chose not to communicate with her any longer. The woman even reached so low (on the 1st night I met her) to tell me that she wished I had never been born...and started hitting me. She only attempted to call me when she was drunk, or on her way to the bar to get drunk. Other than that...I never would hear from her. So, I have a COMPLETE understanding of HER feelings...I think it's about time she crawls out from under her beer bottle to see that I have feelings as well. And, maybe it is better that I leave the "finding my sisters" issue alone. They are adults, and probably do not even know I exist. My birthmother is great at keeping secrets. So, for their sake, and their FEELINGS...I don't think I will even try to pursue my quest. I appreciate your view points, opinions, but I believe that I have made the BEST decision, based on her behavior. Have a great week everyone!

[dlb003]

Hi Kell - I said I would like to hear your story...so I tracked it down.

I am so very sorry that you found the mess that you did. I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through. Nor do I blame you for moving on and leaving it alone.

But what I will say is that she obviously made the right decision in placing you for adoption. At least she had the where with all to think about what was best for you at the time.

Or maybe placing you for adoption ripped her entire world apart and unlike the admirable ladies I have seen on this site - she was unable to find her way out. Is this a possibilty ? Not that it would make a difference as obviously she is quite a selfish person now. She actually sounds a heckva lot like my stepmom...who had a dad in the military and once stationed in OKC, with two daughters younger than you. Interesting.

Did your adoptive parents know her prior to your birth ?

Sorry to intrude...I hope you dont mind.