[Jackiejdajda]

This must be terrible..

I gave up on terms of my bson contacting me.. and got on with my life and then he called me out of the blue.. saying he wanted to know me..
I know I sort of closed my heart when I gave up and part of me does not want this.. but I have to protect myself..

Maybe she may get back to you.. Don't give up..

There is probably something happening..

Jackie

[bprice215]

Wait.
bprice215

[jrainbow]

From your posts, I'm sure she will gete back to you but what a let down. Hang in there. Kind of the same thing happened when I called bdad (no contact before that - but he was expecting me to call, had been notified by bmom). I got all my courage up, went to a friends office to call so I wouldn't be alone, and called his office. He wasn't there so left a message and it was 3 days before he got back to me. That call came out of the blue and I wasn't expecting it. Much easier to be on the receiving end.

That took a lot of courage on your part to call. My son (21) toasted me on my birthday for having the courage to reach out for the unknown when I started down this path. I salute your courage. I hope your relationship takes you where you want to go.

Jill

[curiositykitten]

Originally Posted by jrainbow

From your posts, I'm sure she will gete back to you but what a let down. Hang in there. Kind of the same thing happened when I called bdad (no contact before that - but he was expecting me to call, had been notified by bmom). I got all my courage up, went to a friends office to call so I wouldn't be alone, and called his office. He wasn't there so left a message and it was 3 days before he got back to me. That call came out of the blue and I wasn't expecting it. Much easier to be on the receiving end.

That took a lot of courage on your part to call. My son (21) toasted me on my birthday for having the courage to reach out for the unknown when I started down this path. I salute your courage. I hope your relationship takes you where you want to go.

Jill

Thank you very much. I did send an email letting her know and asking her if she was sure that she gave me the right telephone number. I'm curious as to what's going on and hopefully it will be something like a miscommunication or a type o when the number was sent.

[curiositykitten]

Just a brief update.

It's been over a week since I emailed her and I haven't heard back from her. I'm honestly at a loss.

If she doesn't want to have contact with me I can accept that but I wish that she would stop emailing me how much she and her family are happy to have me back in their lives.

I feel very jerked around. I've been waiting nearly three months just to get a health history for her. She's supposed to have been mailing this since March and still nothing. I feel like if I could just have this basic information so that I can know if I or my children have anything to worry about I'd be okay with everything.

I understand how traumatic this may be for her and I really want to help her with that if I can but I feel so jerked around. I can't get a medical history, I can't get any information surrounding my adoption, and apparently she's given me a bad telephone number to boot, all the while begging for me to call her.

[snuffie]

Oh, how frustrating!
A couple of thoughts though - if she emailed the number could there have been a typing error? Also, she may be away from her computer for a while like on vacation etc. or may even be having computer issues. I've had to go to the library several times to get emails etc. when my computer has had issues.

I hope you hear something soon!

[curiositykitten]

Originally Posted by snuffie

Oh, how frustrating!
A couple of thoughts though - if she emailed the number could there have been a typing error? Also, she may be away from her computer for a while like on vacation etc. or may even be having computer issues. I've had to go to the library several times to get emails etc. when my computer has had issues.

I hope you hear something soon!

I was hoping that that's what the situation is/was. when I emailed her I copied the number that she gave me and asked if it could have been a type-o or if there was a problem with her phone service.

I've even stopped trying to get any answers from her because she ignores the questions. I've gone out of my way to be considerate of her emotions and family but I just feel I don't know what end is up.

The only things I've asked her for is a health history, and if she had a photograph of herself at the age she was pregnant with me.

[Jackiejdajda]

This must be horrible for you.. just horrible..

What about telling her how you are feeling about her conflicting messages.. get real with her..

She should be considering you and your feelings..

Jackie

[curiositykitten]

I spoke with my birthmom on Saturday for three hours.

She was very open about the details of what happened regarding my adoption. I have some more things that I want to ask. I had to push the issue about my bio dad. I'm still processing everything. There was also a third party involved that she'd been trying to get to contact me for many years who never bothered to pass the messages on. I don't even know what to think about that.

Funny enough, my friend send me a link to a myspace URL the next day. It looks like it belongs to my bio dad and if so, I have FIVE half siblings. I sent the page to my bio mom to ask her if it's him but she's never replied to me.

My friend has been encouraging me to send a message via myspace just to ask if it is indeed him. Id on't know if I feel comfortable with that, but, I also don't have an address or phone number I can find listed under him.

It all just ends up being more confusing and overwhelming than before.

[Jackiejdajda]

I got my fingers and toes crossed..

Good you had the phone conversation..

Jackie

[Dickons]

You could send the man you think is your bio father a message asking him to call you collect, you could ask if he knew (bio mother) to call you. Something simple and that if he does not wish to call you or does not know X to at least reply to the message.


Kind regards,
Dickons

[curiositykitten]

Originally Posted by Dickons

You could send the man you think is your bio father a message asking him to call you collect, you could ask if he knew (bio mother) to call you. Something simple and that if he does not wish to call you or does not know X to at least reply to the message.


Kind regards,
Dickons

That's a good idea too. I feel sort of weird using something like myspace but my friend was telling me that I have to use what I have to work with and considering I don't have an address or phone number I don't know how many other options I have.

His name is the same, the age matches, he lives the next town over from where he would have lived when I was born. I'm not sure if I should start this now that I just established contact with my bio mom, if it'll be too much or not emotionally.

My major issue is that we have a friend of our family, that helped to facilitate my adoption, that my biomom has been contacting over the last 32 years, even as recently as 9 months ago, (according to her) and the person never passed the information on telling them to go away and leave me alone. I have no idea why they would do that, but tell them things about my life. Yes, I wasn't ready for contact at 21, but I'm a lot older now, and it would have made everything easier on me to know that they hadn't stopped trying.