[sweetpea012607]

Mother's day is coming up, and I don't know what I should get my adopted mom or my biological mom for the day. Any ideas?

S.P.

[curiositykitten]

I've barely been in reunion for two months. I got my amom a card with a photo of the cityscape at night from where I live. Inside I put a magnet with a Thoreau quote on it. I just wrote a message inside that said "Happy Mother's Day, enjoy your day with your family!" and signed my name.

[sweetpea012607]

Well we've been in reunion for nearly a year, and I really want this to be special because it's our first mother's day and all.

[curiositykitten]

You could get one of those bracelets that has an engravable charm on it and get your DOB on one side and the day of your reunion engraved on the other side.

[sweetpea012607]

That sounds like a great idea! But I don't have a lot of money..... I'll look at that this week, mean while are there any other suggestions?

[gigglessa]

I did the same thing for my bmom..a card and wrote the same thing "enjoy the day with your family"
Do you think you wrote "enjoy the day with your family" because you don't feel like you are a part of the family?
I have just reunited with my bmom..found her in march and met in april.

[curiositykitten]

I don't think that I'm a 'part' of their family yet. I have not met them yet. I think that you have to build a relationship to be part of someones family and our relationship is so new I wasn't sure if I was over stepping my boundaries to include myself in there.

I thought this way it shows that I thought about her and I made an effort which I hope does count for something.

[jrainbow]

Reunited almost a year and I'm her only child. I wrote a poem and did a scrapbook page and framed it. Not a lot of money, but straight from the heart.

Everyone teased me about doing handprints in plaster, since she never got one of those . At least, I never considered getting my size 7's bronzed.

Hope you have a Happy Mother's Day.

[Zoostory]

I've always disliked it and it wasn't until recently that I realized that it had to do with adoption. I'm still in the processing of accepting my birth mom, which is difficult as I think I suffer from adoption related trauma. I'm going to send her a card this year for the first time. I bet I'm not the only adoptee with mixed fillings about the Holiday.

[kune]

I bet I'm not the only adoptee with mixed fillings about the Holiday.

And I bet I'm not the only birthmother that cringes a little when I think of how betwixt and between my son must feel when it comes to Mother's Day. We have been in reunion for 8 years and I usually ring him the week before so he doesn't feel a need to acknowledge me on that day. I think of myself as his first-mother but believe the woman who nurtured him from infancy to adulthood is the one who deserves the title on this special day. (I actually thought of sending her a card this year acknowledging her role. We have met each other and there is definitely something that binds us....like two women who collectively have the best interests of a young man at heart. But ? ? ?

How would you adoptees feel if you found out your birthmother had sent your mother a card for Mother's Day?

Ann

[sweetpea012607]

I think I would like that for my adopted mom, I'm not sure how she feels about my biological mom and she won't take the time to find out. Even though my biological mom is trying so hard to be friends with my adopted mom.

To me it feels almost like a war, like, "I'm a better mother than you, HA!" and I've felt this way for a year. It just doesn't seem fair, can't I have two moms and everyone be happy??

I'm going shopping today, so maybe I'll find a gift....

[curiositykitten]

Originally Posted by kune

How would you adoptees feel if you found out your birthmother had sent your mother a card for Mother's Day?

Ann

I think that providing that they'd both met and gotten along it would be a nice idea. My amom is supportive of me building a relationship with my bmom if it's 'what i need in my life'. She's acknowleged to me that without my bmom she woudn't have me in her life. My bmom tells me she has admiration for my amom for raising me and caring for me all those years.

I think it'd be a fine idea to exchange a note or card.

[gigglessa]

Originally Posted by curiositykitten

I don't think that I'm a 'part' of their family yet. I have not met them yet. I think that you have to build a relationship to be part of someones family and our relationship is so new I wasn't sure if I was over stepping my boundaries to include myself in there.

I thought this way it shows that I thought about her and I made an effort which I hope does count for something.

I feel the same way. I have met her but still don't think that I am not part of her "family".
she has 7 other children She has a total of 9 but 2 of us were put up for adoption..so I am sure her mothers day will be full of activity.
It makes me feel a little left out..but like you I don't want to push myself on them.
I decided I am not going to call her on Sunday either..

[kune]

It makes me feel a little left out..but like you I don't want to push myself on them.
I decided I am not going to call her on Sunday either.

gigglessa - Maybe a card from you would be a small gesture that would progress the relationship - i.e. show you consider yourself part of her life.
I guess sometimes we have give a little so we can receive a little too. A card for this speical day gives the receiver a little prompt - saying hey, we feel part of the whole. You have nothing to lose.

Ann

[aspenhall]

I would love a card or something from my dd's bmom...even though she probably feels like we have nothing in common...