[reginamicia]

i believe i talked to my bmom on the phone this morning. all of our information matched up perfectly. wow, what a rush of emotions! i decided against yet telling my amom & adad. they ARE my family.

we're going to talk again tonight. she is very excited to be in touch, as am i. i'm just wondering about next steps? she is states away...but that means nothing.

i'm not looking to solve a problem, or make an escape, i'm very happy living a great life @ 26. i'm not mad either on why she gave me up etc. life is life. we are both healthy and happy.

i'm looking around for similar stories, and next steps. what kind of relationships happen after one is found? anyone else hide it from the aparents? i hate hiding...

sorry if this is short and hard to understand, i'm just so overwhelmed!

[Oceans]

No advice - Just a big congrats!!

[reginamicia]

thanks, i enjoy your blog! all my best to you. i have one too, perhaps i will add you to my 'blogroll' !

[Oceans]

Please do - I would love to read yours... I am quite addicted

[reginamicia]

yea me too! i read a lot of work related ones, but this reunion is something to document. i'll book mark you and add later, i'm still in a mental swirl that i talked to my bmom.....

[loveis]

Oh yeah I know all about hiding. I shared with my parents after 3 months of being in reunion with bmom, it went as expected, pretty bad. After a few discussions after telling them the subject has not been brought up and probably won't be, so essentially I am still hiding.

Though that aspect is incredibly hard, espcially because I have a 7 year old son, I wouldn't have done anything differently, nor would I not have a relationship with my bmom.

Enjoy your reunion, it will not always be easy (that's an understatement) but I wouldn't trade it for the world!

[Jackiejdajda]

Reunion Socialization

Top 10 Ways to Have a Successful and happy Reunion with your adoptee, birth mother or birthfamily

Hope these two links help.. at the end of the first link the words.. You have the rest of your life to sort this.. I agree with this wisdom..

Congratulations

Jackie

[reginamicia]

thank you. i am such an honest person, and outspoken anymore ( i was once shy!?!?), it's hard to hide things from them, due to my big mouth lol

[Jackiejdajda]

Stand back and see the other person.. Stand back without emotions and have an overview.. and then act accordingly..

Hard to do..

Jackie

[snuffie]

I am so happy for your reunion with your bmom. Adoptive parents are a part of the "triangle" too and do have their own insecurities and feelings. Mine knew I was searching and never approached the subject with me but would say to others that they couldn't understand why I felt the need to search. Weren't they good enough parents? I came from the "closed" era where it was thought that there would be no need for an adoptee to search. It made it so much harder as I had hidden feelings, felt guilty etc. about things that I now realize are so natural and normal.

Sadly my search for my bmom ended at her gravesite and both of the adoptive parents had passed away too. I reunited with my many bsiblings and it is a great joy in my life. And ironically, I know that if my aparents had been alive and met my bfamily they would love them too.

Maybe reassuring your aparents that this in no way changes your feelings for them and if they would be willing - they could read some of the many books on adoptees and why we search. Time could be a great mender too. But, worst case, and your aparents never come to terms with it - it is ultimately YOUR life.

Enjoy every minute of your reunion!

Hugs

Snuffie

[reginamicia]

yes - i can not keep it from my aparents. i will let them know shortly. my bmom gave my family such a gift, as they could not concieve. thank you for the words, i am getting stronger and able to tell the aparents. i love them so much i can NOT hide things from them

[loveajax]

Regina, congratulations!!!

I know there is an assumption that a parents are "afraid" of reunions (and in many cases I'm sure that is true). My SIL reunited with her birth mom (shortly after that she died of a brain tumor...so sad) and my MIL said it was unbelievably wonderful to meet birth mom, to share stories, etc. and she feels like she really "knows" SIL better now. It may take some time, but I hope your a parents understand as well and hopefully also are able to meet your birth mom, etc.

Good luck!

[reginamicia]

i have been in constant contact with my bmom and going to visit here on my way to the beach this summer! haven't told aparents yet, i will know in my heart when we are all ready. very wonderful relationship, my bmom has unlocked so much. my luck has been so good lately too, i blame it on our reunion it is amazing how many things are nature more than nurture!!