[curiositykitten]

On Saturday I went to the post office with my amom and sent off a letter to my bmom. It's taken me almost 10 years to come to the decision that I want some information and depending on how our personalities are able to mesh possibly a friendship.

I sent the letter certified and included my email address and a PO Box address to contact me at. I let her know that I am okay, and that I've had a good life and I don't presume to judge her for making a decision to choose adoption and I feel she tried to make the best decision for us both.

I'm a bit afraid of rejection and I've been told that there's a lot of problems with the extended family so I'm a bit nervous over how this will all go. I'm hoping for the best, but I'm not letting my guard down in case it's the worst.

The most important thing is that I feel a sense of peace now that I've come to this decision to go out and tentatively start a friendship.

I sent the letter certified so in a few days I should have some confirmation that it was received.

[sal]

You've done one of the hardest things you'll ever do... finding the courage to open yourself up to whatever happens...I hope that she is open to contact...and that you are able to find the answers that have eluded you up 'til now. When I reunited with my bmother and family it was like coming home. I finally was able to give myself permission to be who I am... I finally found people that were like me...and that I was fine just the way I was. Please keep us posted..!!!! sal

[curiositykitten]

I'm getting a little more nervous as time passes. I mailed my letter out on Saturday and checked my tracking receipt from the post office and as of last night it's still not been delivered or accepted.

I'm concerned maybe someone at the address didn't want to accept a certified letter thinking it might be something bad. I wanted to give my birthmother an opportunity to know I was looking for her instead of just ringing her up on the phone even thought I was given her cell phone number by a relative to call her on.

Keep your fingers crossed for good news!

[kelceesmom]

I'm sure you are extemely anxious. I can't imagine having to go thru that. I hope that one day if my daughter wants to look for her birth parents that she finds peace in it all. Take care of yourself and stay busy. Good luck.

[Oceans]

Did you send the letter to her home? Maybe she's at work when the mail is delivered so no one can sign for it. This has happened to me before and I had to go the post office to pick up the letter.

Don't worry too much....

[curiositykitten]

Originally Posted by Oceans

Did you send the letter to her home? Maybe she's at work when the mail is delivered so no one can sign for it. This has happened to me before and I had to go the post office to pick up the letter.

Don't worry too much....

I did send the letter to her home. I was given the address through her mother via a family friend. So I'm hoping that the address was correct because I didnt' find a record of her living at that address on my own. My bgrandmother seemed excited about the idea that I would contact my bmom and provided her address and cell phone. I wrestled around with a decision as to what I should do but I felt if I just called her on the phone it could be a bit of a shock and an unfair suprise to just spring on someone.

I sent it certified just so I could know that it had arrived, then a friend mentioned to me, sometimes people refuse certified letters because they think they're wanting money or they might be in trouble. I hadn't even thought of that at the time I decided to send it that way and it started to sort of nag at me a little bit.

[Oceans]

sometimes people refuse certified letters because they think they're wanting money or they might be in trouble

I forgot why I had a letter but I dont think I was in trouble...

Do you think your bgrandma gave her a heads up it was coming?

You birthmom just probably missed the mailman. Does the tracker tell you if it was refused outright?

[curiositykitten]

Originally Posted by Oceans

I forgot why I had a letter but I dont think I was in trouble...

Do you think your bgrandma gave her a heads up it was coming?

You birthmom just probably missed the mailman. Does the tracker tell you if it was refused outright?

I'm not sure if my bgrandma did or not. My amom said to me "Well if I got a call like that I sure would call my daughter up and tell her about it".

I'm not sure. It shows it being accepted at my PO and when it went out, and then it just shows nothing on the received end.

Several years ago they tried to initiate some contact through this same family friend. I had just found out at that time some details about my adoption I didn't know, and then when they called, they made some threats about hiring lawyers and were a bit belligerant to the intermediary and I was afraid to contact them.

It's taken me several years to process all that and understand they were possibly just anxious and worried about me. It was a really big and hard step for me to initiate any contact and I wanted to be respectful and write a letter and contact my bmom directly, not my bgrandmother first, but the bgrandmothers phone number was the only number that hadn't changed over the years so I ended up having to make contact there initially.

As I said in my letter I hope it works out for the best and we could possibly be friends I'm a bit anxious to think that something might have crossed in the mail and conversely she could know I'm thinking of contacting her and just waiting around to hear and hearing nothing.

[curiositykitten]

It's been 10 days since I sent my letter and I sent it certified. I was concerned maybe that someone there didn't want to sign for a certified letter.

I called up the numbrer on my reciept today to find out what information that they had, ie, delivery attempts, denials ect, and they have nothing. The only thing that they have recorded is that I mailed it and according to them "They don't know where the letter actually is, it's somewhere stuck in the mail stream". They hesitate to say 'lost' but prefer "Somewhere stuck in the mail stream".

I don't know what to do... so I just keep waiting and see if it ever gets found? Do I send another non certified letter and see if that goes?

I don't want to look like a demanding person by sending the letter twice.

[Oceans]

OMGosh!! How frustrating!! I'm not sure what I would do. I don't think sending another letter (non-certified) would hurt. Just put in your intro paragraph what the post office said and you wanted to make sure she got it.

Since gma hasn't said anything about this being a big secret, you probably dont have to worry about "outing" her.

Frustrating!!!!

[curiositykitten]

I have news!

I was getting ready to sent another letter last night, adding the paragraph about how the PO told me it was lost, as you suggested.

The person that I got the address from decided to check for me in case she had given me the wrong address and instead called up my bmom because they used to be friends.

She had just gotten the letter that night and it bounced around the postal system for a while (because as of today USPS still says the letter is 'lost') she seems happy and send a few messages to me through this person and said that she would not try to interfere in my life and she'd have whatever relationship with me that I wanted.

She's going to email me in 48hours with a family medical history so that I can have something to reference now when I go to the doctors.

This is.. overwhelming and good!

[txrnr]

Great news. I'm glad you're no longer in limbo waiting!!! Congratulations!!!

[snuffie]

Wow, great news. Keep us posted!

[Oceans]

Wonderful!!! That's so great.

[curiositykitten]

Thanks everyone.

I'm still waiting to hear back from her, as of yet, I haven't heard anything but she said to give her a couple of days to get things together. I assume that it's probably quite a big experience for her to go through too and I'm doing my best to be patient and not anxious.

It'll be nice to get a lot of questions answered now!