[Tara778]

I have birth father's name, date of birth, past addresses, addresses of his father and older brother (who is only about 3 miles from me). I am 29, and as far as I know, we have only met a few times when I was an infant. My mother was 16 when I was born, I know how people can change over the course of nearly 30 years. I have been told he denied being my father, but also used the 'keep me or keep the baby' line on my mom. She has told me I have 'several' siblings and at least one within a year of myself. I would love to meet these siblings.

I have tiptoed around wanting to meet him for years. Finally about a year ago, my mother told me she would tell me his name and the rest was up to me to do. I had my paternal grandma's obituary that my maternal grandmother saved for me (without anyone knowing). She died @ 1995 of cancer. No idea what kind. I feel it's very important to know a medical history. I feel clueless when asked for mine and my sons' medical info (Autism and history of seizures) and can't give half of it.

Anyways, I sent a letter to him c/o his father's address (still living there according to the white pages) expressing what I want to know. I stated that any further contact would be at his discretion. I have no idea if it was ever received. I left email, mailing address, home and cell #'s for him to respond. I have been debating what to do next. I found an address for him in Maine (w/o a phone #) but couldn't find anything through zabasearch on his wife so I am nervous it might not be him.

I am rambling now. Anyone btdt in a similar situation or have words of wisdom for me?

Tara

(PS forgive me if this seems a bit scattered, I am on my break at work and wanted to get the important stuff in)

[Jackiejdajda]

I think the bottom line here is to give yourself permission to search..

Good luck.

Jackie

[Tara778]

Hi Jackie,
I think you are right. I am nervous about upsetting certain people and it's holding me back. I am also planning my wedding and don't want that to seem like a reason I am searching now. If I were to meet someone, I would decide then if I wanted them to attend or not.
Thanks for your response.

[Jackiejdajda]

Tara778 wrote

I am nervous about upsetting certain people and it's holding me back. I am also planning my wedding and don't want that to seem like a reason I am searching now.

Journaling to yourself may help (writing down the bones).. or heck posting here in order to get your mind from holding you back.

I remember reading in one of my self help books once.. that when we have an issue (problem) in our lives it keeps coming back again and again till we sort it..


Jackie