[TashaD]

okay its been almost two yrs since I found my birth mom. are line of communication is not the greatest. We talk on the phone but is not very often, I email my sister but she takes a long time to get back to me sometimes. I just talk to my mom a few days ago, but it had been at least 3 or 4 months since I had last talked her. They rarely call me and I am always the one to make the first move. I got kind of fed up with it and that is why I didnt call her for so long. But guess who made the call a few days ago..............me of course. and my mom said that she was just telling my sister that she didnt think I liked her because she hadnt heard from me. Okay it goes both ways and it would be nice if they would pick up the phone and call me. We still have not met face to face yet. so that might have something to do with it. I dont know. thanks for letting me rant.

[Jackiejdajda]

I am one of the birthmoms that does not call my bson.

The reason why.. can be a long long list..

Bottom line reason is.. my heart hurts when I speak with him on the phone..

I am very very used to blocking thoughts of him.. especially the emotional thoughts.. Its sometimes automatic.

So it may be her.. her emotional makeup or heck damage from giving you up..

From when were you relinquished.. and do you have the story of what happened?

Jackie

[TashaD]

I was relinquished in 1979. I was 5mo. old. Yes I know the story of how and why I was relinquished. My mother was a Sophomore in highschool and was raped by a close acquaintence of the family. She hid her pregnance for months. finally her mother found out about it and tried to make her get an abortion, my mother did not want too abort me. Her mom forced her to go to the clinic but she found out she was too far along. So she choose adoption. I still dont know how she exactly feels about the adoption, I am trying to get to that point.

[Jackiejdajda]

How very difficult for you..

Jackie

[cnb1099]

Tasha,

My bmother found me, searched me out and we have had that face to face and I still rarely hear from her. I am also the one to initiate calls, emails etc. I understand the frustration. And it has taken me a very long time to come to terms with the fact that I have no idea where J is emotionally in our reunion. Much like Jackie has said (very well ) that there are a million reasons that I may never understand. But I just know that my life continues on, I still email and send cards, just let her know that I am thinking about her...and when she is ready for more, I will be right here!


hugs to you....



Beth

[TashaD]

Thanks Beth, thats pretty much what I have been doing, I send my sister emails since my mom doesnt have a computer yet. and she relays all my messages to her. Your right there are a ton of things I will never understand and my life has to continue on, I have 4 kids who are my everything and so everything I do I do for them. I am just at least hoping that when we do meet face to face it will be a sweet time and that we will both come away with at least being good friends.

[cnb1099]

That is a great outlook. I have 2 little ones too and I hope for them that J decides to become more of a part of their life, for her benefit and theirs.

But I know how blessed i am to have what I have...sounds like you do too!

If you ever get that frustrated feeling and need to vent....pm me anytime! Sometimes just letting it out is the best medicine!!