[josh1788smom]

Ok - this may come out weird, but I do not want it to. My son was adopted by my dad's cousin and his wife. Long story - any dozen of other posts of mine. I will not bore you here. My son just turned 18 last month. I talked to adad a couple of times and told him I was making contact. I even offered to make contact with him present. He declined. So I made contact. I wrote a long letter, but because of all of situation, placed it in my son's hand myself. We talked for about an hour. It was great. We are slowly working on a reunion.

While I was talking to him, I got the impression that he is happy to be adopted because he feels that I was young and poor, and he would have been deprived the middle class life he is living. (Aparents have a nice house and I am sure have provided a decent lifestyle for him). Here's my question - do I let out stuff about my life that shows that is not true (the part about us being poor if he lived with me)? I wanted to send him new school pictures of my kids. My kids go to a private school. It is obvious from their pictures. His bdad told him we'd be living in our car if he lived with us (LONG STORY). I have a 4500 square foot house - I would love to have him over some time for dinner or just for a few hours. Don't get me wrong, my husband and I both work and are fortunate to live in an area with a low cost of living, but I wonder if his impressions may be changed if he knows I am not the "poor young girl" I have been painted to be. I would also like to share with him some of the awards I have won and some of the times I have been published. A few years ago, I was on the cover of a local Executive magazine. I would love to share those things with him. But does it look like I am trying to throw my success his way.

I hope this makes sense. I would hate to have it misinterpreted. I appreciate your thoughts.

[mom2GRLC]

Part of experiencing a reuinion is sharing yourself and those things are all part of you. However I wouldn't throw it at him all at once and I wouldn't do it in a way to disprove everything he's been told. He will find out soon enough for himself what the truth was in a nice, loving, casual way.

What has happened in the past is THE PAST (wether it was right or wrong). Try and focus your time getting to know him and including him in your life here and now.Everything else will fall into place and he will begin to know you for who you are and as he asks you can share your/his history with him.

But yes when the time feels right don't be afriad to share with him your accomplishments and successes in life.