[R Poulson]

I know it's niave to think about it this way, but I kind of thought that the ball was in my court. I guess I figured that if I waited awhile, there would be someone out there looking for me. I still have a few things to try before I start paying someone to help, I was just hoping that the pieces would just fall into place. Does anyone else have the same feelings? I know I'm just starting my search for answers, and some of you have been looking for years. I know that it isn't always easy, I'm just trying to get some feelings and silly notions out of my head before I move on any farther. It would be nice to hear if anyone else had the same thoughts.

[newfieshawna]

hey i feel for you. i am also searching but not for my mother for my brother.the search is hard cause i have been looking for 2 years and nothing but keep on searching cause someday you will succeed

[hjcpmeek]

For the past few years I've been trying to locate my birth parents and hopefully the Chruch will help me get a step closer. If not I will have to see what documents I need to send it to court!

[Raichel]

I feel for you. I am frustrated in trying to find my daughter born May 18, 1972. Have looked and looked. Wishing you luck.

[yelenskyr]

mY NAME IS rOBIN AND i'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY BROTHER THAT MY MOTHER HAD TO GIVE UP BECAUSE OF HER AGE! iT HAS ALWAYS FELT LIKE SOMETHING WAS MISSING. HE WAS BORN IN Cleveland ohio on Oct. 09,1971. if anyone has any info please email me yelenskyr@aol.com GOOD LUCK IN YOUR SERCH
Robin Yelensky

[echox]

I felt the same way too. I was kinda expecting someone to look for me but no such luck. I haven't really started a search yet and part of me says "why bother" If she wanted to contact me she would have allready. I feel for you.

[susanasully]

Hi there!

I think your feelings are quite normal - where's the proverbial trail of breadcrumbs leading directly to those for whom we search?

One thing to keep in mind is that many birth parents were told never to search for their children. In fact some were told it was WRONG to look or to expect any reunion. So, they built their lives on the assumption that no reunion would ever be possible. Even though times have changed, it's not so easy to undo the past. Feelings of guilt can play into it also.

I wish you luck in your search and hope that trail of breadcrumbs becomes visible soon!

[quilliam]

There are also the secrets, where the birthmother never told of placing their child. They fear those secrets to be revealed and further impound their shame and guilt. Although times have changed and others certainly are not going to look down upon them, as they did years ago.

Just because no one is not out searching for you, doesn't mean they don't want to. Go with what your heart feels.

[kakuehl]

Originally Posted by echox

I felt the same way too. I was kinda expecting someone to look for me but no such luck. I haven't really started a search yet and part of me says "why bother" If she wanted to contact me she would have allready. I feel for you.

As a birthmom, I felt (some birthmoms would tell you they were told this) I had no right to intrude on my son's life. I was willing to be found and tried to make it easy for him to find me. I did not actively search for many years. I finally began my search here 2 1/2 years ago and found him as soon as I registered. Unfortunately he had registered 5 years earlier, found nothing and never checked back. I had to do a little reseach to find him (actually I found his parents). I still left it up to him to contact me, after his parents gave him my contact information.

I guess I'm saying 2 things:
1st: If your birth mom has not searched, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to know you.
2nd: Don't give up... check back occasionally at sites where you've registered. She may show up there after you're gone!

[bprice215]

You better belive I felt like you do, thinking back it was horrible not knowing anything about my daughter. But she found me with the help of the bmom, who finially decided to act in an honorable way. We're reunited this day and email each other. The rest is history. Good luck.
bprice215

[kakuehl]

I wish D could get to know his bdad. Unfortunately he died in 2000 of cancer. We remained friends all his life. I had asked him once, what he wanted me to do, if D found me and wanted his, info. He told me he trusted me to decide. I have contacted his widow and given her the info for his half-brother and I've given D the info I have. Now I have to leave it in his hands. (Much as I want the two to meet!)

[echox]

I guess I'm saying 2 things:
1st: If your birth mom has not searched, it doesn't mean she doesn't want to know you.
2nd: Don't give up... check back occasionally at sites where you've registered. She may show up there after you're gone!

I hear what your saying, but it's hard to stay positive.

[kakuehl]

I'm sure it is. I spent 32 years not knowing if D was alive or dead. He certainly spent many years thinking I didn't want/love him.

[Longtimewaiting]

Its also very hard on the Bmoms who do want contact and are so afraid of anger and rejection from their child. Here I am almost 33 years later and I feel like my child is part of a dream. I remember the pregnancy, the labor, the hospital stay, my hysterics when they took her from the hospital, and the 5 minutes that I was able to hold her and look at her. To this day, even though Ive had 2 more children, those 5 minutes are the most precious to me. I dont remember the first time I held both of my other children , but I do her.

[kakuehl]

Longtimewaiting, I didn't get to hold my son in the hospital. (I wasn't even supposed to see him, although my parents and I walked down to the nursery to see him. My dad's comment? He's jaundiced.) I did hold him once and feed him a bottle, because I refused to sign the final papers until I did.