[Rina2283]

My name is Catherine, I just turned 21 and have been searching for my birth mother since I was 18. I don't know what else to do. I did not know if anyone can give me any information on how to obtain non-identifying information. My mother was from texas and had two children before me a son and a daughter. I really need help on where to go from here. My adoption was a private one so it is harder for me to obtain information. Please, I need advice.

[Volfe]

Have you read the search guru's information? she's got good info!

[Traveling]

Hi! Below I have copied a reply that I sent to someone else who was searching. Hope this information helps you, as well.


I am an adoptee who found my birthparents last year. It's been a really good experience for me. I have several suggestions that may help you.

First, find out more about the circumstance surrounding your adoption. Your adoptive parents or a trusted family member may be your best source. If you are like me, you may not feel comfortable talking with your parents about this, but I had to get over that because they had several important facts. If you were adopted through an agency (Volunteers of America (VOA) or Catholic Charities, etc.), they may have non-identifying information about your birthparents that they can share with you. If this is the case, be sure and ask question, after question, after question. If you want to private email me, I'll be more than willing to share with you the questions that I asked. Anything that could give you insight into your biological families is important for you to know (and also will be important in the future as you search).

Next, be sure and register with the Louisiana Adoption Reunion Registry. It is a mutual consent registry meaning if you and one of your biological parents have registered, they will help reunite you. Their web address is:

www.dss.state.la.us

The cost is $25. Despite what their website says, you do NOT have to get a social worker to sign your application unless a match has been made. If that happens, I'm sure someone from an adoption agency would be more than willing to help you.

Also, you can also register with the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR). Their web address is:

http://www.plumsite.com/isrr/

They are one of the larger more recognized (and free) registries. There are a million other sites, registries, etc. out there. Stay far, far away from those that want to charge you.

Another person that you may want to contact is Kenny Tucker. He is the co-chair of the LA Adoption Advocates and will have some suggestions, advice, and help to offer. He's a really nice guy who will be more than willing to offer advice and tell you about other sites and resources. His email address is:

ktucker@boassoamerica.com

Louisiana Adoption Advocates has a yahoo group list that you should also join and ask questions/advice/etc. I strongly suggest you join that email group (no cost involved) and post questions there. They are an extremely supportive group. There is also an Adoptees Birthrights Committee that Kenny can tell you about.

Also, talk with other adoptees who have found their birthfamilies and find out how they did it (like you are doing here). DON'T listen to people who tell you that it can't be done. Listen to those who have done it and learn from them. I searched on my own for several years before hiring a private investigator to help me.

Almost lastly-Be prepared for what you may find. As adoptees, we all have this great vision that we will find our families and live happily ever after. It doesn't always work that way and you may find someone who wants nothing to do with you or someone who denies you. I don't want to scare you-but you must be emotionally stable and ready to deal with whatever you find. I tell everyone that I talk with-The search was the easy part. It's developing relationships with those that you find---THAT is the challenge.

Lastly, if you exhaust all other resources, don't ever give up hope. It took many times and many failed attempts to finally find my birthfamilies. I was reunited last year after a long search. Good luck and feel free to post a message here or private message me if you have any other questions. I am by no means the expert, but I have been there and I don't mind sharing my experiences.

Best wishes.