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What do you do if you just don't like the b-parents.

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Originally Posted By j an amom

There were so many differences between us that it was hard to find anything in common. However, they had something we desperately wanted and we could provide their baby with a loving and stable family.
I feel the thing to remember is that these connections are made mainly for later...when your child is older and has questions and concerns. Be careful, any negative attitudes towards bparents can backfire in that your child may feel uncomfortable and maybe less than you'd like them to feel about themselves. Self-esteem, etc. Although my daughter's bparents were not people I would normally have befriended, I ironically feel a little hurt for my daughter's sake that they've both pulled a disappearing act. Especially when her bfather was so adamant about maintaining contact. Her bmother honestly has had children by three husbands and isn't raising any of them. She simply is not maternal and is honest about it. But, really these are not puppies, you'd think even if she didn't want to raise them that she would want to know they are okay.

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I posted the question and I should have added more info. I know the b-parents very well and have for a very long time. The b-father is family and the b-mom was his former 'drug and sex' buddy. They had my child while teenagers and lost her due to drugs, alcohol, crimimal conduct and violence. They have been very difficult to deal with and have cost us thousands of dollars in legal fees, guardianship disputes, etc. Because neither would work, we were ordered by the court to pay their legal fees and to arrange visitation which occurred during our workday. We were required to take unpaid time off work in order to drive the 50 miles to the b-mom's temporary home. Basically, the b-mom was in warrant status the entire time the guardianship was in effect but we were still required to meet with her. It was awful but we survived and most importantly, my child is thriving in a loving home! We love her more than anything!

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I found I could relate to your post. I can't imagine being given the opportunity to have some type of contact with your birth child and the parents and walking away from it. Our childs bmom has disappeared over a year ago. She told us she would always keep in touch. The bfather denies her and has from day 1 although he did sign the relinquishment papers. Our child is loved and cared for and that is what's important. I too felt bad that they have chosen to walk away from such a sweet child.