Family Forums
Parenting Forums
Pregnancy Forums
Adoption Forums
Fertility Forums






Members List Photos Events Local Adoption Support Search Arcade Reviews Membership Upgrade
Welcome to the Forums. Register
If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ. You may have to register before you can post or search: click here to proceed. To start viewing messages, select a forum below that you would like to view or click View All of Todays Posts.
Forum Categories
User Name
Password

Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1  
Old 09-16-2001, 04:17 PM
Archive Archive is offline
Archived Posts
Join Date: Jan 1999
Posts: 153,637
Total Points: 0
Donate
Open adoption/visits with birth family??

Originally Posted By Stephanie

My son is 7 weeks old..adopted at 22days old. We continue to have contact with the birth mom's mom, and also just recently the birth father's mom. I occasionally talk with the birth mother and send pictures and updates to her.
My question is: Is there a such thing as being too open? My husband and I desire a very open relationship with the members of the birth family who wish to remain in contact. In fact the birth granmother (maternal) is going to keep our son for a few hours while we both work. We have also told them that our door is open if they want to come visit...with a call before they come. Is this too strange or odd? Some of our family members seem to think that this open of a relationship could be detrimental or confusing to our son. We feel that it could only be positive for him if handled in a sensitive loving manner.

Any insight is appreciated!

Stephanie
__________________
Please feel free to reply to this Archived post.

Please note that there may not be a way to contact the author of this post unless they left contact information.
Reply With Quote
Adoption Community Information
Barry & Rebecca (ID)
are hoping to adopt
Barry & Rebecca hoping to adopt A Service of Adoption Profiles

  #2  
Old 09-25-2001, 06:22 PM
Archive Archive is offline
Archived Posts
Join Date: Jan 1999
Posts: 153,637
Total Points: 0
Donate
Re: Open adoption/visits with birth family??

Originally Posted By been there

If you are comfortable with it, do not worry about what other people think. It sounds like you have a great situation, so it may be really wonderful and we know so many couples who have such relationships with thier bmoms.

We, too, had a very open relationship with our bmom and her family. A word of caution from our experience --- you might want to take it slow. You are still in the "honeymoon" phase, for lack of a better word. If I had it to do over again, I'd have taken more time (like the better part of a year) to open up my home to them, etc. We truly care for our child's bmom and wanted to be there for her and have a very open relationship, but it has not turned out well. In our case, if we had waited a few more months, there is no way we would have made the decision to be so open, and it is hard, if not impossible, to reestablish your privacy after the fact. That is just our experience, but you may have one of those wonderful situations where you have a familial bond with your bfamily for life. Good luck.
__________________
Please feel free to reply to this Archived post.

Please note that there may not be a way to contact the author of this post unless they left contact information.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 09-28-2001, 11:34 AM
Archive Archive is offline
Archived Posts
Join Date: Jan 1999
Posts: 153,637
Total Points: 0
Donate
Re: Open adoption/visits with birth family??

Originally Posted By birthmom Jamie

I don't think that it would be confusing for your child.
__________________
Please feel free to reply to this Archived post.

Please note that there may not be a way to contact the author of this post unless they left contact information.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 09-29-2001, 12:55 PM
Archive Archive is offline
Archived Posts
Join Date: Jan 1999
Posts: 153,637
Total Points: 0
Donate
Re: Open adoption/visits with birth family??

Nothing Negative can come from a child knowing their family.It is NOT KNOWING them that is detrimental and confusing and wrong.
__________________
Please feel free to reply to this Archived post.

Please note that there may not be a way to contact the author of this post unless they left contact information.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

Points Per Thread View: 1.00
Points Per Thread: 15.00
Points Per Reply: 5.00


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:12 AM.


Click Here to Get Started