[Long2Live]

I have a 3-1/2yo daughter thru OA and we have extensive contact with various birth family members. Mostly thru phone and internet since we live in different states. This contact includes our birthfather's ex-wife who has custody of their children (17/14) who will be on vacation in our state next week. We agreed to meet, however, not sure what titles I should use so as not to confuse our daughter. We have an older son (21) and daughter (17), so she has a brother and sister. When I talk about her birthmom she sometimes says, "Oh, so I have two moms?!" I re-explain to her that she was in her birthmom's tummy, but I'm her Momma!

Any suggestions on how to make it not so confusing is very helpful.....thanks!

[rredhead]

Use the terms "brother" or "sister" because that's what they are. My 3 year old knows he has a brother and sister who don't live with him.

Domestic Adoption, Infant, Child US Adoption, Open - They're Not "Technically" Siblings...

[kkmomto2]

Both our children were adopted as infants - different states, different BPs, both open adoptions. Our son is 16, our daughter is 12.
Their birthmom's have gone on to marry (divorce, remarry, etc.) and have other children that they are parenting.

We've found the term 'bio sib' as a descriptive way to define the "relationship". Calling the 'bio sib' as a "brother" or "sister" seemed to be distressing to our two children living side by side with each other ... they are sharing each other's daily lives and childhoods. That seems more significant than a texting and letter writing relationship with a relative that shares some blood ties, that you've never met.

Way we look at it - you can never have too many people that love you. All connections are good connections, as long as they are done with love.