[loveajax]

We just visited with DD's birth family. It was a really great day in many ways but "odd' in other ways...very hard to explain. In any event, I feel like I went thru surgery or something...I am so wiped out. I wonder if it's the "anticipation" combined with the realities, emotions, etc. etc. Has anyone else ever felt this way?

[SchmennaLeigh]

Every single visit, yes.

[SamIAm2]

I used to not feel that way at all because our visits were very often. But lately, with the kids getting older and everyone's busy schedules, we only end up visiting about once every couple months (even tho we only live 10 minutes from each other). I find that draining...I think mainly because there is soooo much catching up to do! And because we have to try harder to make it a wonderful, fun time since it may be awhile before we get together again.

[BrandyHagz]

Yes!

And when they came to live with me last fall...gah. It was like my nerves were on HIGH ALERT and I couldn't get back to normal.

I seemed to constantly be in a state of 'don't let them down' - I guess...never relaxed...never just *me* I guess, heck I don't know.

I know when they left (ugh, finally) I slept for two days and my muscles were so sore from being tense and stressed out, that I had to go see my Chiro.

So, you're not alone!

[lahdh4]

Every time. Every visit. Every phone call.

[blessedbybug]

I do. Often, they take forever and many invites to arrange and then happen on what feels like a "whim". And I'm exhausted for awhile after. I even feel it after phone calls, esp ones I initiate. And even writing letters take it out of me. Lots of emotional investment in all contact with the other families of my kids. Doesn't mean I stop working on it, but still... I tthink alot of it is the anticipation of it all, and wanting things to go well and say the right things and make sure the kiddos understand who this is because I fear it might be the last contact. Every time I fear that.

So there's the long answer (would you expect anything less from me, lol??) but the short answer is... yes.

((((Hugs))))

[Jo Ellen]

I am 46 yrs old and every time I visit my first parents I feel wiped out when I return home because of the emotions that are stirred every time we are together. We have been reunited 2 1/2 yrs and I hear it does get easier with time which it is easier than before but it is still very emotional. I do believe more frequent visits makes it easier and am happy we are able to do that. We live 6 hrs apart but we are able to visit every few months or more so. The more the better in my opinion.

[thanksgivingmom]

Yep.

I had actually made big plans for right after the visit so that I couldn't let myself just hide in my room and sleep it off....it was a welcome distraction, but the next day I crashed instead.

((((((hugs)))))))

[loveajax]

Thanks, guys. I'm finally feeling a little less wiped out. (I have other things going on with my dad/work, so I am sure that is contributing to my general state of exhaustion!). Glad to know I am not alone!

[finallyamom0310]

I want to thank everyone for their input on this one. We are planning our first visit with our DD bmom and I am already nervous, excited, wound up, etc. Now I know it won't end till the visit is over.

[Nicksbride]

So, I'm a little late reading this thread - I just found this site today. Thank you for posting this and to everyone for being honest in your replies. I've been feeling so guilty because I find any contact with bmom to be very draining. In fact, I'm supposed to call her this afternoon and I keep putting it off.....

I think I'm going to love this forum!