[hesabanana]

Just a bit of an update. We sent her a certified letter about a month ago outlining what our concerns are and what needs to be ironed out in a meeting involving her, me and dh before visits resume. She never bothered to pick it up from the post office, but called instead to find out what the letter was about, saying she did not have time to pick it up. Yesterday I sent her June update letter and pictures, along with a birthday gift for fd. This too was sent certified so that I can document I sent it and she received it.

One of the bones of contention for bmom was my refusal to identify her as bmom. This was my rationale: ds knows he is adopted, knows fd is his sister and knows bmom is fd's mother. I told bmom that once fs starts to question this I would absolutely give him truthful answers, but until then, I would not burden him with information he could not process at his age (he's four). Interestingly, fs announced about a month ago that my hairdresser was his bmom....he thought she was because she is nice. I explained that she is not his bmom and he did not ask further so I did not offer. This week my friend visited from out of town and he said that she was his bmom; I told him she was not, and about an hour after her visit, he asked who bmom is. I told him and he was completely unfazed, saying he was glad she knows that he likes baseball, and then talked about something else. I put a note in the package for bmom that he asked and now knows her relationship to him.