[AMom2Two]

I want to start the new year by hearing positive things you like about your child's open adoption. What do you like, what works for you, what makes you laugh, what do you cherish the most.

While I do know that open adoption is not for everyone, I also know that for some of us, it's the only option. Despite how much I seem to struggle with certain issue's, I have no doubt that this is best for my children and for MYSELF, and I would not/could not be happy without any contact at all from the people who gave my children life. This feels right to me.

What I enjoy from my children's open adoption is peace of mind that I am not taking anything away from my children. I know their roots and I like knowing it. I know their bmothers and can honestly say I care deeply for them. Even though I struggle with my ds bmom and issues we are facing, it doesn't take away from what I feel about her. It might make it harder, but the underlying feelings are always there.

So what do you like about your child's open adoption? Please share......

[BestLight]

Ditto what you've said, AMom2Two.

Also, I feel like openness "normalizes" adoption.

There are no secrets, no shame, no mystery. I tell my children their stories often, and I hope they grow up being proud of the unique way we became a family.

(This is not a bash against closed adoptions, nor do I imply that they are "abnormal." Closed adoptions are necessary and desirable in some cases, and I respect parents who make those decisions out of concern for their children's well-being.)

[billysmommy]

Right now, I feel that our open adoption is more for me than for my children (or at least, that right now I get more from it), so with that said....
I like knowing who my children look like and where they get their personalities from.
I like knowing that their first mom is comfortable with her decision to place them - and with US.
I like knowing that if they ever have a question that I cannot answer, I only have to pick up the phone.

And what I like the MOST is having their birthfamily to share all of their milestones and cute moments with - because I know that it is as big a deal to them as it is to DH and I.

[sarahbunny]

I like sharing stuff about M with C...like how her doctor appointments went, a baby class I am taking with her, new baby things we buy, etc. I think she likes hearing about it all. And I like the little things that M and C share...like this wierd colick (cowlick?) in the back of their hair. I wouldn't have known that they both had that if C hadn't mentioned it during our last visit.

I love that she will have someone that she shares physical traits with. I was adopted through a closed adoption and that is one big thing that I missed...just seeing someone who really looked like me.

I also like that our open adoption is working for us...so that I can explain it to others who are positive it is a bad idea.

[Leigh131313]

I like being a part of it..


so often on these boards I hear about adoptee's who go through reunion without their parents. Sometimes they even insist on keeping the two seperate...


So, the control freak in me likes that.


I also like that we have defined roles long before my son has to navigate on his own.


again, the control freak in me.




I also like knowing his birthfamily - i like them!

I don't have to wonder "who are they"

I think that I would probably start to get panic-y about them if i didn't know them...i tend to fear what I don't know.

i know the true, real story of my sons placement..

[myheart]

I like knowing and having a relationship with my sons b-mom. We have a connection that I do not share with friends I have had for _20__amount of years. I am always amazed at how one little boy could connect so many people together with love....our son has a very fertile love seed. I've said this before here on these boards but I will repeat, "I Love my son sooooo much, that I could not help but love every single part of him... ..and B is a part of him."
The other thing I like about open adoption is, two different worlds (2 different famlies from different cultures and backgrounds) have connected, which otherwise may not have, if it were not for one precious boy. Open adoption is not all gloom and doom, mutual respect for both families from each family, and genuine felt Love , can make for a positive open adoption experience.

[lonni]

sarahbunny, I was also a closed adoption and our son(open adoption) has so much more to "mirror" himself with, than a fantasy mother and father like we had.I like his ability to form his identity with the full picture of his bloodline and yet have access to all of us while we raised him.