[pingaa3]

I know I'm going to get some backlash/feedback on this one, but here goes.

I feel like a lot of the time people are not allowed to have real feelings/reactions/emotions dealing with their adoptions and the complications on this forum.

I have read several postings where people get slammed when they innocently express their real human feelings, not matter if they are the ones they should be feeling (politically correct) or not.

It hurts me to see this happening to people that are genuinely trying to find advice, wanting a chance to vent frustrations, or even just someone to say "Yes, I understand, I felt that way too, its normal, its ok, it will go away or you'll have to learn to deal with it".

While I understand that a lot of people have had bad experiences with adoption (adoptive/birth parents and adoptees), I don't understand lashing out bitterly at someone you don't even know.

Just a comment and hopefully an opportunity for people to reflect.

[prose3a]

I can relate to this. I'd rather be non-PC and be criticized than have my children be unhappy. We're a highly untraditional family. We're multi-racial several times over: I'm biracial, my spouse is white, two of our children are white, and the youngest is black. My spouse and I are both gay men. However, I don't feel the need to make the world accept us or like us. Given, the politically correct movement has done us some favors, but I refuse to buy into the idea that these "normal" PC ideas are healthy. When you stifle words and feelings I think you create more ignorance. I think the world is getting bigger and funnier all the time; I refuse to listen to traditionalists who tell me it's getting smaller and nastier. Anyone who is so paranoid about people being offended needs to get a life. I'm free; you're free. We can have separate trips or the same trip and how I feel is NOT dependent on you or anyone else, but my neurological know-how. Feel free to drop me a line if you ever want to discuss this... On that note, I'll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:

"The paranoids are right; they've got lots of enemies: Who would want to be their friends?"

[Girlie_Hen]

"I have read several postings where people get slammed when they innocently express their real human feelings, not matter if they are the ones they should be feeling (politically correct) or not."

Don't you see that it is a circle? Someone posts real human feelings and someone posts real human feelings back? Adoption brings out all kinds of feelings from all members of the triad!

[Lindsie]

I agree with Pingaa.
Most of the time when I would quite like to respond to a post that in some way gets my attention (whether I think I can offer suggestions, opinions or just sympathise) I end up not bothering to post at all because I couldn't be bothered trying to work out a way to phrase what I'm trying to say without offending anyone. I know that the entire adoption process is fraught with emotion but I also think that those people sitting in the wings waiting to pounce on other people's posts should be ashamed of themselves.

[dl]

It is sad that so many dismiss the feelings of others because they are different from their own feelings.

As an adoptee I have found it extremely frustrating to have to defend myself for not feeling wounded, traumatized and stressed due to the fact that I joined my family through adoption. To some it seems that being the victim is the "PC" thing to believe.

I am completely comfortable with the fact that my bioParents relinquished me so that I could have a life that they were unable to provide for me (verified this past year by both the records at the adoption agency and my bioDad). I had a completely "normal" life with a very loving family and never felt any trauma, wound or stigma by the fact that I joined my family through adoption. Unfortunately, I have been, and I have seen other adoptees that have posted that they were not traumatized or negatively affected by adoption, totally slammed for "being in denial" because they did not buy into the "PC" belief that many chose to believe. Adoption is NOT a negative to many of us!

[prose3a]

Originally posted by dl
It is sad that so many dismiss the feelings of others because they are different from their own feelings.

As an adoptee I have found it extremely frustrating to have to defend myself for not feeling wounded, traumatized and stressed due to the fact that I joined my family through adoption. To some it seems that being the victim is the "PC" thing to believe.

...Unfortunately, I have been, and I have seen other adoptees that have posted that they were not traumatized or negatively affected by adoption, totally slammed for "being in denial" because they did not buy into the "PC" belief that many chose to believe. Adoption is NOT a negative to many of us!

I think that's true for ANY minority group. Some of us have really pleasant, good lives. Some people have awful experiences, especially of adoptees, but I think a number of people choose to be dumb, depressed, and agitated. I'll go as far to say that political correctness murders geniuses, burns books, slaughters populations, and generally blocks progress. I find it really refreshing to find a happy adoptee. Thank you so much.

[dl]

"Some people have awful experiences, especially of adoptees"

Yes, some adoptees do have awful experiences ~ no different than the fact that some children raised by their biological parents have "awful experiences".

There are many adoptees that had a very normal family experience. You might find the thread,
“Insight for Aparents from an Adoptee”.
Insight for Aparents from an Adoptee an interesting read. One positive story led to many other positive stories. There are MANY adoptees that do not feel wounded, traumatized or disordered.