[RandiW]

I have read a lot about people's experiences with open adoptions, but only about how it is when the child is still very young. Can anybody share their experiences as their child went through the preschool and then grade school years.
I have to imagine that some of the issues and relationships change with time and also with the added element of peer pressure a child may feel as he/she becomes more aware of his differences from more "standard" families.
I have custody of my non-biological daughter (different from adoption) and she has regular visits with her birthmom. So far things are going well, but I am curious to find out what issues might possibly lie ahead.

[MomofKaden]

My son is still only very young, but I know a couple of people who are in their 20s who were in open adoptions. Both say that it seemed totally normal to them and it wasn't wierd! Both say their bmom was like extended family - an aunt or something. Neither felt confused about who their parents were or anything like that, but both seem very glad to know about their bio families as opposed to a closed adoption, not knowing anything. That is about all I know. Both are well adjusted, happy people, and I don't believe either struggled in school or had major behavioural issues or anything like that. Sorry I don't know more, but these two just seem like pretty much totally regular people - the adoption stuff isn't a real major thing to either of them, it seems.

I think it only helps that nowadays SO many kids are raised by often one or more non biological parents - SO many have step parents...so it makes adoption not really all that different in a child's eyes. They will likely know many other kids raised by a parent that isn't related...but will just like my kids, and many will know their other biological parent that they don't live with...it's just that in my son's case, his parents are married, not divorced and it is his birthmom that lives elsewhere. Know what I mean?

[RandiW]

Somehow, regular intact families seem to be the norm in my community and my daughter's class, so it is pretty out of the ordinary where we are. Otherwise I can hear how that might help. So far my daughter seems to be ok with it all and only is noticing now that her friends don't have 2 mothers and a different last name. She will once in a while tell her friends about her other family, but it seems to be still going over their heads.