[mckenna]

i hope that i can get input from all members of the triad. hopefully my foster son of 2 years will be adopted this fall. i plan to have him baptized the sunday after his adoption. i want to have a combo celbration after the baptism. i have this feeling that i would really like to invite his bgrandparents and birth brother (who lives with gps). i would also like to invite his bmother, but i am still leary about letting her know where we live. (that is a story for another day).

1) do you think it would be rude to invite them? or not invite them?

2) could i invite the birth grandparents and bro and not the bmom?

3) should i only send an adoption announcement?

4) not invite them or send an announcement?

this is all so new to me and i don't want to offend anyone involved because they are all important parts of my son's life. and of my life.

[BrandyHagz]

Mckenna,

I have read a few of your posts...and this is a foster/adopt situation correct?

I think it all depends on your level of comfort....

I am a b-mom in an open adoption...I was a part of every step and milestone in my daughters life, to include her baptism/naming cermony.

If your concerned about having her in your home, is there a way to have the party someplace else? Like the church?

I think it you are planning to have them in your son's life, then it would be a nice gesture to invite both mom/g-mom and b-brother.

If you dont think having them in your son's life is the best for him...then by all means, dont fell obligated to have them there...

In the end, you want whats best for the relationship with your son...and since you seem uncomfortable with her knowing where you live...I dont know that you are *there* just yet.

Maybe you could have a "birth family" get together afterwards...maybe a nice dinner/celebration with your family, and her family....someplace nutural, like an eatery.

Good luck with your decision!

[mckenna]

thanks for your quick reply. your right, if i could garuntee that bmom would be as she is today, i would have no problem letting her know where we live as the bgrandparents do, but because of her past, i just cannot garuntee that. i do like the idea of a birth parent getogether with my immediate family as it would not be so overwhelming. thanks

[rachelsmom]

Hi,

Because our adoption was with someone visiting our church or a short time, I included the birthmom and her family in our dedication. Depending on your situation, there were a couple of things: It was much more emotional for the ** that either one of us had figured, which made it tough on everybody. It was hard for my family and me for that matter to enjoy the moment, because we were trying so hard to let the birthfamily have their time. So on a very special day, I had no time with my daughter.

Anyway, that's what happened with us. Our ** was even at my shower, but it was also very hard on her.

Lisa

[AMom2Two]

McKenna...

After reading rachelsmom posts and Brandy's, I like Brandy's suggestion. You want everyone to be comfortable together. Rachelsmom hit some good points.

Hugs,