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Old 01-27-2008, 02:17 AM
poohbear77 poohbear77 is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2008
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Heart Want to adopt my best friend's

Hi best friend is pregnant and wants me and my fiancee to adopt him or her. My question is, does anyone know about how this would work? Like, would it be a bit cheaper in price since it's basically "direct placement"...we don't need anyone to find us a baby. Also, can the paperwork for the adoption all be signed and legalized before she gives birth, or do we all have to wait until the baby is born. If we have to wait until the birth, does she have a certain amount of time after the papers are signed to change her mind and keep the baby? Sorry to have so many questions...I'm very new at adoption.

Any help would be very much appreciated
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Old 01-27-2008, 06:19 AM
kittymari kittymari is offline
Join Date: Jul 2007
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well here in the state of WI, you would have to go and file with the courts, and as long as the birthparents (both M & D) agree, you just go before the Judge and sign the papers. There is still the 6 month waiting period, so you would have to schedule the meeting with the judge for after the baby is 6 months old.
You could hire a lawyer to do the paperwork also, but I think if you call the court house, they should have all the nessary papers you would need to file yourself. Then your only cost would be the filing of the papers and the new birthcert.
When we adopted our DD, we got the papers from our CW, but we filed them out and filed them ourselves with the court. Saving the cost of having a lawyer involved.
One word of advice however....its your best friends baby.....what happens in a couple years if your friend doesn't like the way your raising "HER" child???? Something to think about.
Good Luck
started paperwork Dec 2004
homestudy done Sept 2005
DD came to us Feb 15, 2007
signed final papers Aug 24, 2007
Mom to 3 now:
Stepson age 29
bioDaughter age 20
A daughter age 15: signed 08-24-2007
AD age 5 signed 03-20-2012
FS age 3.5 adoption maybe Oct 2013
respite care & fostercare: TOO MANY TO LIST

all together makes:
Life is good..
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Old 01-27-2008, 01:05 PM
DianeS DianeS is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,987
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Here are the specific things you'll need to find for your state:

1 - Find out who can adopt.
What are the age limits?
Can two unrelated people adopt together? (You and your fiance aren't related yet, so you may be barred from adopting together - one of you may have to adopt as a single instead.)

2 - Find out who has to consent to the adoption.
It's almost always both the biological mother and the biological father, so you'll need the guy's consent too.

3 - Find out about waiting periods.
For instance, all states require that the baby be born and the mother off medication before she can sign papers to terminate their parental rights. The number of days after the birth that the mother can sign will vary by state. (Three days is a typical minimum number of days, but they do vary.)
The father can sometimes terminate his rights before the birth and sometimes he can't.
Then there is the waiting period after the signing is finished, since most states allow a number of days after the signing for the parents to think about their decision and change it if they want.

4 - Find out what you have to do to adopt if the rest of the items are fine with you.
Your state will require you to have a homestudy, that much is true.
But states differ when it comes to deciding if you have to have an agency, a lawyer, or just a social worker.

I hope this helps!
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Old 08-02-2008, 07:45 AM
Jamers24 Jamers24 is offline
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Join Date: Aug 2008
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adopting my friends baby

My friend is pregnant and scheduled an abortion but after thinking about it, she decided to ask me if I want the baby because she knows my partner and I just lost a baby because I had an ectopic pregnancy. I am wondering if anyone is familiar with this, do you know how difficult this might be for me? I know the main thing I need to do is contact a lawyer (which I did) but I just am curious if this is a difficult process, even though the birth mother wants me to take her baby.
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