[babyinmay]

Hi All - this is my first time here. Yesterday I found out the paternity of my son after almost 5 years. I have been with my husband for almost 4 years and he has been the only father my son has ever known (and a wonderful father at that). We would like for him to adopt our son. I am curious if anyone else has been in a similar situation here in Oregon. Now that we know who the bio-father is I know he has to be involved in the process. Does anyone from Oregon have any advice for me?

Thanks so much

[Searching_03256]

Lindsay - step parent adoptions in Oregon are pretty straight forward but they are by no means "simple".

Now that your son has a legal father the situation is changed. The legal father has the right to consent to an adoption (or refuse to consent) until his rights are terminated or able to be terminated. Generally to be able to be terminated he has to have abandoned the child for more than one year prior to the date of filing. Abandoned means failed without just cause to provide the proper support for or contact the child. There are a couple of other possibilities (you were awarded sole custody in a divorce proceeding and/or relating to prison) but they are rarely enough for a court to terminate without abandonment.

Knowing you need his consent now puts things in a little different light. It may very well be that now that he WILL be on the hook for child support that would be terminated by an adoption he will be happy to consent if approached correctly. It may also be that after a year he still will not have done anything (or paid anything...)

One word of advice on lawyers and step parent adoptions in Oregon - almost every attorney who practices family law will tell you that they do adoptions or step parent adoptions. Find out how many they have done and how much they charge and then look around. An attorney who charges a lot for a step parent adoption is either trying to use it as a profit center or doesn't do a lot and is charging you for some of their research time.

Good Luck!

-Scott