[katy41]

for those of you with older boys with behaviour problems,what do you do about providing adequete supervision in public toilets?
in'the men's, my fs 8,stares at other men's bits,runs about shouting,strikes up conversations,throws wet loo paper about,refuses to come out.
in the disabled ,he behaves in a similar maner.
in the ladies, he's a lot better because he's under my beady eye.but at 8 we get a lot of people commenting and he makes them uncomfortable......at some point i'll not be able to bring him in.....but i can imagine him at 26 still needing supervision.....anyone got any suggestions?

[Ians mom]

When my oldest was that age, I went in after him. I opened the door and asked him if I needed to come in there. Of course he shouted out that he was coming right out. After a few moments I opened the door a second time I just announced that I was coming in (in case others were in there) and did just that.

I felt that following through with was more important than my being embarassed for a few moments, BUT my son was soooooooo much more embarrassed that I only had to ever do it one time. Once he knew I would come in to get him if I had to, we never had another problem.

Another option might be the family restrooms. That way he doesnt have an audience and if he makes a mess while in there, you can supervise his cleaning it up. If he wants to use the mens room, he can earn it with good behavior.

Good Luck!!

Just for giggles....he used to whisper in my ear when he had to poo so I wouldn't come in thinking he was taking too long. I guess he REALLY didn't want to be the kid whose mom had to come into the mens room after him.

[katy41]

unfortunately,he doesn't seem to have any feelings of embarrassment and likes me going in to fish him out.(in his eyes ,dispite my obvious lack of enthusiasm,it gives him a chance to show me around, as if i've never seen a urinal before )....i've been giving him a chance to show me he's matured every 4-6 mths since he was 6.
he doesn't mind going in the ladies and likes me going in the mens,it's me and the general public unfortunately, who have a problem with either option.
i've tried both consiquenses and bribary to no avail.....there's nothing he cares about enough to have an effect on his behaviour when he can't see me.