[kayb]

our fs will be too? All I know is mom can live independently, but cannot complete the requirements of reunification.

What things should I be asking at his 1st dr.'s appt? Is it genetic? Are there different types?. I know it's not Downs that mom has. Is there a website where I can educate myself....

Advice please.

[teachbear]

It sounds like mom has mild intellectual/cognative disabilities. Your fs may or may not have a low IQ the interaction and stimulation you provide can make a big difference.

Mom could have had a high fever as a child, could have two parents with low average to boderline IQ, could have been a brain bleed. Most likely the cause of the mental disabilitie can't be determined for mom.

You could look at ARC-the association for retarded citizen, try the accronym first. Look at your states site for developmental disabilities/mental retardation. do a web search using the terms I used in the first paragraph.
If he is under 5 have fs tested for early intervention services, this would also be a question for the doctor.

[ranoutofnames]

My A1 comes from a LONG line of MR and MI on both sides of her bio-family... EVERYONE is either MR or borderline, and I've met all of them that are still living up to her great grandma. Even her half-sister is MR/MI and severely emotionally disturbed. With this much family information most people thought she would definitely be either MR or LD.

My daughter is super intelligent and at the top of her class. At 5yrs old I had her screened and was told not only was she too smart for pre-school but if she were being screened to start school she'd automatically be placed in 1st grade.

You just never know.... and even if you find a strong genetic predisposition your fson might be the exception just like my daughter.

[heidibay66]

i have a friend who has two parents that are mentally and physically handicapped. They both have syndromes related to down syndrome. She is normal and very intelligent. So is her brother... so you never know.

[ava25]

We just found out today that our agency has a birthmom that is borderline mr. She has 3 children already. One is autistic, the other has learning disabilities, and the third is fine. My husband and I are open to learning disabilities, but we are not sure if we could handle a child that is mr. What would you do in this situation? Thanks for your input.

[MB80sgirl]

That's a tough one, since she'a already had 2 special needs kids. I could handle a kid with LD- kids with LD just have trouble in specific areas but have normal to above average intelligence. But we could definitely not handle autism or MR. My advice would be to talk with your husband & social worker about what you could realistically handle & get as much info on the birthmother, her health, & her history as you can. If you decide not to take this one, dont feel bad. The baby will go to another home & there will be other birthmothers.

[jessnboys]

My adopted son's birthparents are both severly MR. Mom is unable to live independantly and Dad is barely living alone with support. My son (8 yrs old) is about a year delayed, which isn't bad considering all he has been through. He has several health issues. He is functioning and our goal (his and mine) is to have a fully independant life. Time will tell how able we are to acheive this. We take every day as it comes and celebrate every step! It's so hard to tell when they are young. No one ever thought my son would read, write or talk. Now he is learning sight words, writing more than he can read and learning subtraction! Just remember, anything is possible when you keep trying

[lynnae1111]

My FD that I hope to adopt comes from the same situation - except her mother and father are both low functioning. At 10 months she appears totally normal so far. I too was really worried about this in the beginning but now I feel that it is my job to help her be all she can be. We are not all meant to be rocket scientists right??

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

Mild cognitive delays can be genetic -- basically, there is a range of IQs that occurs naturally and it goes a little above "normal" (as in "gifted" individuals) and a little below ("mild mental retardation"). It's inherited the same way any other intelligence level is inherited, meaning there's no guarantee that there will be much correlation between the parent's IQ and the kid's. That said, the majority of people who are mentally handicapped are not that way because of heredity. In fact, in about 50% of cases there is no one cause that can be pinpointed. A million factors can come into play, such as prenatal exposure to toxins, poor prenatal health care, difficulties during birth, deprived enviroment during early development, etc.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

The Arc of the United States

This has some info on causes of MR and genetics.