[Aquaman87]

Three weeks ago, I became the foster-to-adopt dad of two brothers, 10 & 11. The 10-year-old has the reading comprehension of a 10th grader & the math skills of a 7th grader. His 11yo, on the other hand, has been diagnosed with ADHD and has a 2nd grade math level and a 3rd grade reading level. Bio-mom has treated him very differently to where he proudly uses that diagnosis with pride and as a crutch not to try many things.

The school is open to resource classes for math but my big concern is reading. We read 20 minutes a day but the comprehension is so low that he is merely reciting the words. As a former teacher, I'm concerned with how this will impact every other subject.

He is not medicated and I watch his diet to where he gets very little sugar and only fresh vegetables & fruits and such.

What can I do? It doesn't help that he has attended more than one school per year for most of his 5 school years.

Would you recommend a short-term med for the school day? I'm not an advocate of unnecessary medications but I notice that he cannot remember simple things from one sentence to the next in our conversations, even with subjects he enjoys. I give one task assignments at a time but it still doesn't sink in. I don't know how much is laziness/manipulation and how much is an over-active brain.

Any thoughts?

[Peggy]

Get him checked out by a doctor, he may or may not have adhd. He could have other things going on that are causing these problems. Does he see a therapist? he may need to be checked out by a Psychiatrist. Also talk to the school about setting up an IEP for him, and getting him tested, so the school can address his learning issues. Since he is so new in your home, try to keep the school working on the school issues while you concentrate on home issues. This is really hard to do, I know from my own experience, but in the long run it will work out better that way. Eventually you can consider a tutor, or some other ways to help him academically. I know there are other more knowledgable people who will hopefully give you more detailed advice. Best of luck.

[Aquaman87]

Thanks, Peggy! I have an unrelated doctor appointment scheduled for him and will pursue something then. There are conflicting reports from his various school testing from one school to the next. I don't think it is an IQ problem as he prefers very engaging tasks over other things, such as video games over movies- even short cartoons. I can't even capture his attention long enough to set an agenda for the evening and often end up answering the same question numerous times within about 15-20 minutes.

I'm still waiting for school tests. I know he took written & computer tests two weeks ago when he first started this school but have not been able to pin his teacher for specifics. We talked by phone and got the basic grade-level abilities but she said they were still waiting for other results.

As a former remedial upper-elementary/middle school teacher, I can handle the tutoring for now. I try to get him to read to me when his younger brother is not around to comment or make him feel self conscious. I just don't want him to be overlooked at school.

Both kids will start therapy within the next week or so. They've had their mental health evaluation, which did not indicate any ADHD issues or any other concerns. They're getting assigned a female therapist this week to help keep a female influence in their life.

Thanks again, Peggy!

[Dr. Art]

What you should do is have the child evaluated by a licensed mental health provider who specializes in evaluating and treating adopted and foster children. Children with trauma backgrounds can have a number of difficulties, several of which can look just like ADHD, for example, attachment disorders, sensory-integration disorders, and neurological problems caused by prenatal exposure to alcohol. So, a thorough assessment is really indicated.

regards

[Sledge]

I totally agree with Dr. Art's recommendation about having him evaluated first. I adopted a son that had been diagnosed by three different Dr.'s as being ADHD before coming to live with me. After a couple of months after moving in we discussed removing him from meds and he responded very well with a lot of extra help relating to the real world off meds. He has been off the meds for about 1 1/2 yrs and is doing great, he acts just like my other two kids (who are not adhd and never been diagnosed with it). A stable homelife with loving parents I believe does wonders for kids. And just for your information my ason had a partial hearing loss which was the reason the QUACKS said he was adhd because he did not always respond to their questions and directions. I always made him look at me when I spoke to him, it was especially important to have women ensure that he was looking at him because he had problems hearing their voices due to the tone. We did not find out he had a hearing problem for about 9 months, we found out from the school when they did a random hearing test. His previous schools just chalked it up to him being adhd and not paying attention to instructions. With a lot of work (possibly consouling) hopefully everything will work out for all of youl.

[Aquaman87]

My 11 yo has embraced the label of ADD/ADHD and has become lazy with anything he attempts. He's also started lying to me and trying to play ignorant on things we both know very well he knows, such as him "accidently" turning the bathroom light out on his little brother and saying he "forgot" his brother was still brushing his teeth.

He's not used to tough love as he has been pacified by bio-mom and protected by younger brother. Now that he's being held accountable, he is reacting passive aggressively.

Any advice? I make sure he knows I'm disappointed in his actions but not with him and do not react in anger. I address decisions, actions, and behaviors specifically with a related consequence. Nothing works and seems to be getting worse.