[Jesse]

I had my foster son know for 6 months and I do not agree with the type of therapy that my foster son is getting.

I have made a compliant to my Agancy who has custody of my foster child, and they do not seem to think that my foster son is important. This therapist told me that I was the WORST foster parent that my foster son has ever had. Any advise on what to do next.

[monroeman]

Jesse,

There is a lot of missing information here, and possibly rightfully so. Confidentiality and all. This makes it hard to give any advice that is worthwhile.

Anyway, if the agency provides foster care, then it has to be licensed by the State. There should be someone there who you can share your concerns with.

It's pretty unprofessional of a therapist to tell someone that they are the worst foster parent a kid has ever had, even if he is right! (not saying that he is.)

Keep trying with your agency. There should be someone who will validate your concerns, even if they do not agree with you.

[Jesse]

I have tried to express my concerns to the agency and even filled a complaint with state.

We had a meeting to further discuss the matter, but nothing done. I think that my foster son needs another therapist, however I do went to adopt this child but I cannot contiune with the adoption until my foster recevied the services that he needs.

My foster son has major attachment difficulties and, the therapist is not addressing these issues. I'm afraid to say anything to the therapist because he will only try to find somthing wrong with me.

I just do not know what to do anymore. Maybe it will be in the child's best interest to find him an adoptive home.

[Dr. Art]

It may be best for your child to be moved. However, an alternative is for you to find a licensed mental health professional who is experienced and fully trained in working with adopted and foster children and children with trauma-attachment issues (see Assoc for the Treatment and Training in the Attachment of Children )

regards

[bandaid]

I know this mess. is old, but I thought I would reply as someone who has experienced so much in this system with the state and private agency people. It is a constant battle to fight for these children. I have fought for about 13 or so over the last 2 yrs.

I am also at the point where I want to give up coz they will not listen to what the child needs. I am doing the same as you requesting til I am blue, but it is all ignored. Guess they figure if they end the case eventually- the prob. will be yours!!

[Jesse]

The county has now decided to allow my foster son to go back and live with his grandmother, Now keep in mind that he is not suppose to be around his bio mother, and the county was granted permanent custody of this child in april of 2000. The county for some unknown reason is saiding that he can go back to a very bad situation.

Can someone please explain this mess to me, I do not understand? At first the county has stated that my foster son cannot have ANY CONTACT WITH HIS BIO MOTHER, BUT NOW ALL THAT'S HAVE CHANGE IN A BLINK OF AN EYE.

[JuliannaTeresa]

If the Grandma has submitted a successful Homestudy then she has Legal Right to Custody.

Grandma may have agreed to either not let the Bio Mom have contact, or have Supervised Contact. Due to Confidentiality though you will never know what was agreed to!

[bandaid]

Having the same difficulties with our therapist for 9 yr old girl. He wants me to put her into diapers, after she has had a month of dry nites til visits resumed 7 months later.

Yes, the grandmother can possibly get him. Normally the CW will do everything they can to screen at the earliest poss. moment of being in the system. We are also at risk of this happen after having these girl's 1 1/2 yrs. I have seen many things though, including returning to dangerous situations. Every case is different and some of us just get them I guess.

I am having a real hard time, like it sounds like you are.

[monroeman]

I disagree that grandma has a "Legal Right" to the child, even with an approved home study, (especially if parental rights have been terminated) but I suppose that the laws could differ from state to state. Still, State agencies do tend to want to place children with a bio relative whenever possible.

We'll never know all of the details, so let's hope that they know what they're doing and that it will be for his good. I know that it is frustrating and don't envy you the experience.

Courage.

[bandaid]

monroeman,

I know exactly how you feel. You are right all states do differ. The problem is some cw cannot act quikly enough, therefore putting that pre-adopt family in a sad situation.
One yr. we had 6 placements in the first 4 months of the yr. and everyone went to grama ( including those families with 5+ kids) can you imagine?? One went back to one of these grama's, whose son was a pedifile. ( Am I allowed to say that here?) he got off on technicality, and then how do you know he will follow orders and never go back to his mom's house where this kid is??? we have another case of infant twins that we found a pre-adopt for and they have been in the system now 2 yrs+ and the cw is still trying to clear a grama ( for a 5 sib group) now mind you those twins have been with the pre-adopt longer than their own parents( parents have a huge history of prior losses of 6 kids)
I wonder if I will ever understand the system....