[kbhebdon]

Im new to the forum and really just looking for advice and support from those who have gone before me. My fiancee and I (getting married in May!) are anxious to begin our adoption research. I have known since my teen years that I would not be able to have children of my own without risking my life and the baby's. My fiancee and I decided a year ago that I we would both have tubes tied as a precaution. Now though, we are beginning to weed through all the information regarding adoption. We want to have children soon, as we are both finishing school this year and are reasonably stable in our finances. I know many here advocate for LDSfs, but I am apprehensive for two reasons, 1 they dont allow adoption processes to begin until couples have been married for two years and 2 the openness of LDSfs adoptions. I would really like to hear what others have to say about their experiences, and to know if my fears are unfounded. How long would it take after the initial two year wait, and how open are adoptions with LDSfs. I would appreciate any information, stories etc. Thanks!!

[aspenhall]

Their policies can't be discussed here, but overall, waiting AT LEAST 2 years after getting married, to have kids is an intelligent idea. We waited 10 yrs (a bit long) I usually suggest no sooner than 2 no longer than 5 yrs......unless the couple is older, than one year is fine.

Also you can get paperwork ready and completed, you just won't be active (shown to bparents) until the 2 yr mark.

A friend of mine did this, and her profile was activated on monday, they got "the call" on tuesday...baby was home with them by friday.

Apparently as the bmom went into labor she decided that her doubts were very real and asked for more profiles (she'd already been shown them ALL) It just happened my friends profile was activated that day, she was chosen and the baby was born.

And, the openness of the adoption is decided by the bparents/aparents...as a side note.

It WILL take quite some time to save up the $$, so 2 yrs may seem awful short when taking the financials into consideration.....besides, after activation, It usually takes 18 months until placement. Mine was about 16 months...and we ended up with a 3.5 yr old child, not an infant.....but perfect fit none the less. And I ADORE my relationship with the bfamily....I started the process wanting a closed adoption only.....I took classes, read books, and joined this forum...I also met a few friends and gradually I changed my mind and released my fears.