[DeafSiren]

Hi everyone,

DH and I have been waiting with LDS FS for almost 18 months. We were matched with a pbirthmom last November, and became quite close to her over the three weeks before she had the baby and decided to parent. We were very hurt in the aftermath of all that, but of course have gone through the grieving process and reached some level of acceptance.

In the past month I have met a couple (who are also Deaf) whose daughter just told them about her unplanned pregnancy. As I've talked with them I've thought more and more about birthparents and birthgrandparents. Tonight as I drove home, I thought of D. (pbirthmother) and truly wondered how she and her children (she has an older son, and then the daughter who she was going to place) are doing. So, I thought maybe I would send her an email.

I've honestly thought how I would feel if she wrote back...and I just don't have those hurt emotions that I used to have. I don't feel emotional right now, just thinking about it. I'm truly curious about how she is doing and just want her to know that we still care. I don't have any alterior motives . . . just true concern for her and her children. Obviously, I'm going to wait a few days to really think about it before I send anything, and I wanted to hear some feedback from you folks. What do you think?

--L.

[aspenhall]

I think it would be nice, but may have to be carefully worded to not bring up guilt in pbmom.....perhapas contact her old CW to see if it would be recieved well.

[Free_to_be_me]

I also think it would/could be a really nice gesture.

[DeafSiren]

Thanks, both of you for your replies. I just keep going back and forth on this. Unfortunately contacting her CW won't work since we emailed basically directly, so I don't have a way to contact her CW. I'm going to get my husband's advice before I send anything, and have him look over the wording if I do.


Thanks!
L.

[Momof2princesses]

DH and I have had 2 failed adoptions and another situation where a pbmom decided on us IF she decided to place...in the end she decided to parent. We have tried to maintain a friendship with these women. The first failed adoption we have never heard back from her. The 2nd failed adoption just happened and we are still in contact with her....at least trying to be. And the one that decided to parent rather than place with us ...we are very close to. I think that sometimes these women come into our lives for many reasons....but at least for us I belive Heavenly Father trusted us with His Daughters....he knew we would love them whether or not they placed their babies with us. We feel like we have a special bond to them and we pray for their success.

I think it is a wonderful thing that you think about this person.....it never hurts to let someone know they are being thought of and cared about.

Brenda