[Carito]

Hello,
I am new to the board. I have been reading all your postings, but only today had the courage to post one myself.
I am very scared. We are putting our paper to adopt through LDSFS, I am just afraid of rejection. We have tried to have children for 7.5 years, but not good results. I am tired of treatments, but until now I was afraid to put the adoption paper and have the agency tell us we are not good enough.
My husband and I are students. We are getting our elementary school teaching degree and untill then we will be renting, right now we live in a full equiped basemant with 2 bedrooms one bathroom, a family room etc. Do you think that might present a problem? with the home study?
DH and I are working on the appartment doing some last repairs and decoration so it will look really nice, but still is a baseman. We don't make very much money, but we have very minimum debt.
Any advices or comments?

[Daisha]

Carito ~

DH and I have been approved for only one month and I had a lot of the same fears that you now have. Don't worry though, you will not be rejected unless there is some serious problems in your past that show up (I don't get that from your post, so I think you are okay!!)

Have you had your first sit down with your social worker yet?? I will give you a run down on what to expect! It is nice to know what is coming!

1 - you will have a sit down initial interview (very relaxed). He/She will just ask you some questions and basically get to know you a little and will go over the process with you. at this time, you will sign up for your adoption classes and pay your initial $1000.00.

2 - you will go through your classes. they are usually about 2 hours one night a week for about eight weeks. they are wonderful classes, so enjoy!

3 - you will finish your paper work packets and put your collage and birthparent letter together along with 20, 4x6 pictures of you and your DH.

*the paper work consists of match sheets (descriptions of your DH and yourself and your families). financial breakdown, background check (if applicable), etc. you will also have to fill out a sheet specifying exactly what you will and will not consider in a child (this is a very hard one to fill out, but just pray about it and remember that what works for others may not work for you and your family). you will also fill out a 56 question questionaiir (you will get this while in your classes to start on). I know this is a lot but they break it up pretty well and make sure you are very informed).

4 - you will then schedule your homestudy where your social worker will come to your house and make sure it is safe for a baby! don't worry, they don't look in cabinets, under beds, in closets or anything like that. I worried about this, but it was very relaxed and comforting.

5 - you will then go to the office and have one more interview with your social worker and he will give you advise on your letter and collage (just suggestions, you don't have to change anything if you don't want to, but they give good advice). this interview with you and your DH is about 2.5 - 3 hours. he will interview you together and seperate.

6 - now everything will be sent to the approval board to look at. they will also give you advice on your letter and collage. we were approved in a week!! you now will have to get 20 color copies of your collage and birthparent letter and turn them into your agency.

THAT IS IT, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY WAITING AND IT IS OUT OF YOUR HANDS!!

I know that it seems overwhelming, but take it one step at a time, enjoy the process and keep a journal!!

Let me know if you need any questions, it is stressful, but knowledge is power.

ENJOY!! And congrats on getting to this point!

[wannabeamommy]

Welcome!

You should be fine . The home study process is not nearly as scary as it seems when you are first starting. LDSFS just wants to make sure you can provide a safe and loving home. Living in a basement apartment shouldn't be an issue at all.

Congratulations on starting the adoption process! It is a roller-coaster... but in the end it will all be worth it . GOOD LUCK!

Rachel

[Carito]

Thank you so much for your responces, it is a relief to know that we are OK and in good shape. We have not set our first appointment yet. We are waiting to make sure we have the funds and finish some remodelations in our place.

*When it comes to specifics about the baby, do you have to specify gender and racial background or can you live it open? that is what we would like to do, be as open as we can.

Daisha, congratulations on being aproved. Keep me posted, I would like to know how everything goes. I am in Kearns, Salt Lake county.
Rachel, She is a beatuful baby. I am sure she fills your lifes with joy I yearn for that as well.

[Daisha]

Carito ~

You can leave all those options as open or as closed as you would like. You can choose to accept every ethnicity if you want and you can choose boy, girl or either. Plus there are other things (medical, etc.) things that you will have to look over and choose!

Good luck with everything and keep me informed!! Feel free to ask any questions that you may have, I will do my best to help!

[Carito]

Thank you Deisha, one more questions, are there specification about the pictures and collage that we need to submit? Do they need to be close up pictures, or maybe Studio taken pictures, indoors or outdoors, etc? I would like to start working on that, but I am not sure on the specifications. Sorry to ask you so many questions, I just want to do things right.
Thank you so much for your wonderful guidance.

[Daisha]

You can ask me as many questions as you would like!! That is what is so great about this forum!!

The 20 4x6 pictures of you and your DH need to be professional and all 20 will be the same pose.

The collage should be a variety of different things. For example:

Our collage had a picture of DH and I on our wedding day and one on our sealing day (one year later).

A picture of each of us as a baby

2 pictures of each of us doing our hobbies (me singing and with a quilt I did) (DH working in his wood working shop and one of him sitting in the crib he made for our future baby).

A picture of us fishing and a picture of us 4-wheeling

A picture of our cats

That is just what we did based on an outline that we were given!! It was fun so enjoy it!!

[Carito]

So the 20 photos 4x6 are copies of one pose of a picture done on a Portrait studio. Does it have to be full body or close up?
The collage is done on a scrapbooking style or a board style, this may be a silly question, but I am not sure what style of collage I need to make. We have two small to medium sizes dogs, one is a pomerania and the other a mix. Do you think that would be a problem? You mention you had cats, correct?

[Daisha]

Personally, I would do the 4x6 photo's close up because that way it is easier to see you (up close and personal!!).

I did the collage in a scrapbooking style. Having dogs may be a very good thing. Our social worker said that many potential birthparents are dog/cat/pet lovers and that could be a very positive thing for them to see.

The best advice he gave us was to just be ourselves 100%, that way the match is true and good. Your baby will find you if you put yourself out there.

It was easier since I took his advice.

[Carito]

I can do that... Be myself.
My dogs are loving and very good, so I am glad they won't be a problem. I am so happy I found you. You are such a wonderful advisor. Thank you for helping a total stranger, though I think and feel the Lord led me to this forum and you, so I can put at rest my fears and prepare myself for that special spirit that has been waiting for me to get my act together. May the Lord bless you with a most special spirit to come to your home, and most important may it be very soon.
I will keep asking you questions if that is OK.

[Daisha]

Carito ~

Thank you for your kind words, everything happens for a reason huh??!! You are going to be just fine, your fears and apprehensions are very normal, I had them too, still do sometimes but we will both be okay!!

Ask me as many questions as you would like, I would be happy to help!!

[Elaine95]

Hi Daisha - I'm excited to see you're approved! Yay! We are too, and waiting for #3 for 6 months now.

Carito - I just wanted to let you know that the "portrait" of you and DH (and dogs, maybe?) doesn't have to be professionally done. With our first adoption we had a great snapshot of the two of us that we used, mostly because of the great emotion in the pic. It was just a snapshot but we had it blown up to an 8x10 and that was one side of our collage. The other side was sort of a scrapbook collage of us doing the things we love: camping, playing frisbee, fishing, roller-hocket etc and one with our two dogs. For our second adoption we again just used one of our favorite snapshots and had it blown up. This last time we did a collage on the computer and I like that way better. You can fit more pictures onto a page and still make it look nice after you print it out. We bordered ours with colorful paper and ribbon. Have fun doing it! The collage has always been one of the most fun parts of the homestudy for me!

[Carito]

Another question, does the collage needs to be 1 page or more, and how big a page, 8x11 or bigger?
Thank you for all your wonderfull advice.

Carito.

[Daisha]

you will need to do 2 pages (not front and back) but 2 pages of 8 1/2 x 11. Same with your birthparent letter, that needs to be 2 pages side by side, not front and back!!

[Elaine95]

Carito -

You might want to call you agency to ask about whether or not the pages are front and back or separate. For all three of our collages we did it front and back, no problem. First two were with the Florida agency, the third with the Denver agency. It seems that it depends on the agency. You could always just do two separate pages though, and put them in a clear page protector back to back, but still be able to separate them if your agency requires that.

We did have one letter that went into a third page a bit, but that wasn't a big problem with our agencies either. It's hard to fit your life into two pages!!