[okydoky43]

Hello,
My name is Dawnna. My dh Julian and I joined the church about a year and a half ago. We were baptized in Fairbanks Alaska, but now we are stationed in CA. We have wanted to adopt for a long time. We have 3 boys (biological), but really want a little girl. There are so many options out there. We are going to the temple to be sealed next month. A sister told me about LDS Services. Can you tell me more about what they can do? We don't necessarily want an infant. We would like her to be under the age of 5, so we have time to bond with her before she goes to school. We are not particular about race. Where do the children come from? Do they do the homestudy? Is it valid for foster care and international adoption? Does it take a long time? I would appreciate any help in understanding if this is a viable option for us. Thank you.
Dawnna

[Juliana13]

I'll PM you - I think they'll delete my post if I give details about a particular agency - so check your messages!

[okydoky43]

I am really looking forward to chatting with you more. There are so many people and choices out there, making adoption such a leap of faith. I am thankful that there is a place like this where I can find someone in the church to help guide me through this. My IM is okydoky43, if your up for chatting that way. ttys. Dawnna

[rottymom]

I think its great that you want to adopt however I hope you educate yourself about adopting an older child. If a child is available for adoption and he is older than an infant chances are that she isn't going to be a normal happy child.

I was once a young niave adoptee and thought I could love any child...and I thought love would fix any wrong that ever happened to that child before he/she came into my home. Five years later I still struggle. Yeah, I love my girl with all my heart but it isn't easy living with her.

[okydoky43]

Can I ask where you adopted your child from? How old was she? The only country we are willing to adopt an older child from is Guatemala. I am hoping that since I can speak spanish it will help with the transition. I am a family child care provider, have been for 7 years, for the
Army, so she would stay home with me until she started school. The biggest reason we were wanting to adopt an older child is because our children are older. Am I still sounding crazy?
I am so thankful for your input.
Dawnna

[ocracoke]

Saw your post and wanted to say good luck on your decision to adopt. There are lots of choices in adoption. And I also wanted to say that I think it is great that you are considering an older child adoption. I understand why so many people want infants but there are so many older children who need homes, too. It is true that not all older child adoptions are easy. But truth be told, not all infant adoptions are easy either. I know plenty of people who have adopted infants in the last couple of years who are struggling with bonding issues and unexpected health issues. I like to advocate for education and preparation for older child adoptions because I know just how important they are. I was placed in my adoptive home at age 7 years. Were their issues? Sure. I lost 5 of my 6 siblings. I lost my parents. I lost my surroundings. But I was a typical kid. And a typical teenager (which drove my parents crazy). I graduated top in my class, went to college, became a social worker, and I am now a mom. I adopted my daughter from Ethiopia and she came home to me when she was 21 months. I was really clear that I did not want an infant -- I am just not an infant kind of person. She bonded to me in 3 days. No joke! She knew I was mom and she let me know loud and clear. She has been home just over 15 months at this point. She is healthy and happy and in a constant good mood (unlike her mama). She is smart and funny. Yes, we struggle but I think that has more to do with who we are as individuals and less to do with any adoption issue. She is the light of my life and I can't imagine my life without her. Because my adoption and my daughter's adoption have been such amazing experiences for me, I know that if I ever make the leap to adopt again I would go for an older child -- I am thinking around 4-6 years old right now. And I will definately go back to Ethiopia as my top choice.

Best of luck,
Samantha

[aspenhall]

You're not crazy. We were listed thru ldsfs and ended up being placed with a 3.5 almost 4 yr old little girl...We also ended up not finalizing thru LDSFS, because of the age of the child. There are so many things that can happen in adoption, that you really are led blindly in faith.
If you want an older child, you would be better off to go through the foster care system in my opinion. Because this was a private adoption, I had NO assistance from the state for her healthcare, or therapy, or anything. Any older child will have attachment issues. Prepare for it. The levels and severity will vary, but it will be there. NOT having assistance to get therapy for my dd was a major hardship for us. I ended up doing it all on my own with help from the special needs boards here. Plus taking the classes that foster care offers will prepare you for ANY older child, even if they are not coming from the foster care system.

Good luck!

[okydoky43]

Hi there,
Did you email or im me info about the agency you worked with? cuz I didn't get anything.

[Juliana13]

Not sure who you are asking...
I sent you a PM (private message) with info about LDSFS, back on the 18th. If you got it, great; - if not check your messages - on this site. You can find them by clicking on the "Private messages" link, near the top right hand corner of the site. - right under where it says "Welcome, okydoky43"

And Merry Christmas!

[mom2khmertwins]

Have you thought about adopting international? We are LDS and have 5 adopted children. 2 from Cambodia and 3 from Haiti. My kids came home at 4 months, 4 months, 3 years, 20 months and 30 months. All have done awsome!! All had special needs at adoption, 3 still do, but are extremely lovable! There are also healthy children, we just have a special place in our heart for special needs kids. There is a yahoo group for LDS families who are interested in international adoption that you should check out! Just go to groups.yahoo.com and type in LDS international adoption into the search.

Good luck. I think that toddler adoptions are a great way to go.

Kelly