[mmdd2b]

Hi,
I know I have posted on the general forum but think this may be where I need to post. I am an amom with an 8mth old son. We are currently looking into adopting a sibling group of 3 kids, ages: 3,4 and 6. That would mean we will be a family of four children in our three bedroom/3bath home here in SoCal.

Do you think it we are crazy? I know all of the positive/negatives to this change in our lifestyle. I do know there profiles and have even met them. They just seem to fit our family if it were meant to be. My question is this, will it be hard to adjust to church lifestyle as well as home life together....? Anyone been or in our shoes. I know we are scared if this is meant to be but are up for our challenge if these are really our children that are trying to find our family.

Any thoughts?
Kristy

[CoryEllen]

My best friend just adopted 3 kids from foster care, and they were 5, 4 and 7 months. The kids were used to going to a church in their foster family, but not one that was 3 hours long! Your kids are young enough that they can learn about the Gospel and love it. My suggestion would be to get into Primary with them, teach them to love the songs and enjoy church. They will be so excited about the prospect of having an eternal family someday that they will soon be great little church goers!

I wish the best for you!
-CoryEllen

[aspenhall]

as side note, I took dd just to primary for a year...doing the whole thing was a losing battle.

However, I would REALLY think twice about bringing home older siblings for your boy. many older children in the system can become predatorial (sp?) once in the home. Usually it is reccomended that the new children be the youngest children.

also, before i'd worry about church adjustments I'd worry about attachment parenting training. ALL older child adoptions will have attachment issues, some mild, some severe...be prepared.

That being said, I KNOW that being LDS and being sealed in the temple helped my dd process all this so much easier, and she was able to understand better. She also LOVES primary.....but for a year, had behavioral issues that were control issues....hard for her to want to let someone be in charge, parents, teachers etc...

it's been 2 yrs now, and things are going smoother than i ever believed possible in the beginning. Pray, pray, and pray some more. HF will guide your steps and lead you where you need to go.

[zxczxcasdasd]

I just want to second the last post. Even in kids as young as 3, 4, 6- if they are being adopted out at that age, they have probably been subject to neglect and abuse- even some that you don't know about- and it's VERY common for even the sweetest kids to act out on other kids what's been done to them or even to act out their own feelings of rage, fear, etc. on smaller kids. I strongly recommend that the new addition be the smallest. You cannot watch them every second and you can't magically undo the effects of neglect and abuse, it takes years.

They need homes, but better where they will be the youngest and no baby in the home.